My husband started beating me before I finished giving birth after childbirth, which made me feel cold

In 2013, I met my current husband, who is 6 years older than me, but only held a wedding at their place. Our family didn't do it. After the wedding, I went outside with him. He didn't let me go to work and stayed at home to be a good wife and mother. Until later, he saw all kinds of conversations with those women on his mobile phone. Every day, he talked with many girls behind my back and often contacted his ex-girlfriend. He treated me very well before marriage. He was afraid of that in his mouth, and was kind to me.

This kind of good continued until I was pregnant, so I went back to his home to wait for delivery, and went to his home. Because I was pregnant, I couldn't do anything, just sweep the floor and do these easy things. In general, his family was very good to me, but when I poked that layer of window paper open, everything seemed to be on the surface. Her mother often speaks ill of me with her family, saying that they used to do everything when they were pregnant. Marrying me back is an old grandmother and serving like a queen.

I didn't care about these things. My husband's money was stored in her mother's card. When I was pregnant, I wanted to eat fruit and asked her mother to take money. Her mother also quarreled with him. Later, when I stayed at their home for a long time, I heard all kinds of gossip about me. At that time, the baby was about to give birth, and I felt a sense of collapse, and lasted until the baby was born later. No one was at home that day and all went out. At 7 o'clock in the morning, the amniotic fluid broke. I didn't answer the phone, and nobody paid attention to me. I was not familiar with my life there. At that time, I thought I would not die here. Until I found relationships and called him later, it would be nearly 10 o'clock. Then he found a car to take me to the city to prepare for the delivery. It was also a lot of trouble to go to the hospital. At 2 o'clock in the afternoon, the baby was born. As soon as the baby came out crying, his mother stretched out her head to ask what was born? The doctor said that it was the little boy who went out to wait. The baby was carried out to my mother-in-law for about a few minutes. I began to bleed heavily. At that time, my husband had gone out to eat with his brother, and the boy they had promised to give birth to was still a girl. My mother-in-law held the baby outside to watch, but didn't come to see me. I went through more than an hour of surgery in the operating room alone, and no one cared about me.

After staying for three days, I was discharged from the hospital, and the real problem came again. There was no one to help me take care of the baby. My baby didn't eat 5 chickens and 50 eggs in total. At that time, I could see his face clearly. My husband began to beat me before the delivery of the baby was finished. I had to endure it for the sake of the baby until I asked her family for the betrothal gift, which was 60000 yuan. Now I have talked about 160000 yuan, three gold and three silver, three gold bought a ring and a necklace, and the others have not been taken at all. His family said that I should take the marriage certificate and then take it. I said that the baby is now two years old, and your family will not take it, and the marriage certificate will not be taken.

Until 2016, when he came to work at my mother's house, I took the child with me. It was less than 10 minutes from his work to his home by bike. I didn't see him once a month. He just paid his salary on the 15th of every month and took the money back. It has been a year since then. Every time we quarreled, we couldn't say enough. I took it seriously, but he took it as nothing the next day. The child is now two years old, and he hasn't taken it for a day, so I really want to end this relationship now. I don't want to tangle up like this. What should I do?

[Reply]

From your letter, I feel the most deeply that you are completely disrespected and not treated well in this family, and the family doesn't take you seriously at all. But do you know why? In addition to complaining, roast and complaining here, have you ever reflected on why such an encounter happened to you? If you can't figure it out, let me tell you:

First of all, you have no principles. Why do you say that? You married a man. Although you held a wedding ceremony at your husband's house, why didn't you go to get a certificate? You should know that marriage without a certificate is not protected by law, and you can't defend your rights if there is any problem; The second is that you don't get respect and recognition from the other party. If you tacitly acquiesce in this behavior and marry yourself, you will make your husband's family look down on you. People will think you are very casual and easy to deal with.

Second, you have no ego. Don't you go to work if "married" doesn't let you go to work? A woman who completely obeys a man loses herself. If you don't allow yourself to be independent in marriage, you can only live by looking at others' faces. Even if your mother-in-law speaks ill of you behind her back and looks down on you, it is the result of your easy loss of self.

Therefore, no matter at any time, whether unmarried or married, women should understand that men are not the only ones to rely on, and they will never give you the sense of security you want. If what you said is true, they don't care about you if there is massive bleeding during your birth. It can be seen how cold-blooded your husband and your mother-in-law are. What they did should be condemned. What's more hateful is that your husband hit you during your confinement. It's inhuman. What nerve did you hit wrong at first? If you chose such a non-human thing, he wouldn't be afraid of his rude behavior to frighten the child!

In fact, what's the use of condemning this unscrupulous man? After all, you still have no morale. They have been daughters-in-law and have children for several years. Only now do they start to think about the question of breaking the bride price and bargaining for the three gold and three silver. Don't you think your marriage procedure is a bit messy? Because you and others have cooked raw rice and you don't have any initiative in your hands. Is it possible for them to fulfill their original promise to you?

In general, the man you choose is a failure and a bad man. He has no responsibility, no responsibility, no quality, even personal scum. He is not good to you. If you really don't want to have sex with him, there is no need to argue all the time, and there is no need to talk all the time. It is better to put it into action to deter him. Of course, if you really can't choose, you may be at a loss, because if you haven't got a certificate with him yet, you are not a husband and wife, but a cohabitation relationship, and there is no divorce. You can walk away at any time. He can't interfere, but you can't get any property and compensation.

Suggestion for you: whether you continue to live or not, you must make changes, be independent, self-reliant, live for yourself, and don't trust anyone, because no one in the world can rely on you, only on yourself. Also, love your children well. Although you may not have a happy and legal marriage, don't lose your responsibility as a mother.