My husband said that he doesn't feel anything for me anymore, he doesn't even want to touch me

My husband said he doesn't feel good about me anymore and doesn't want to embrace kissing sex. There's no real third party between us, but he always likes to send ambiguous messages to little girls lately

Q:

Hello teacher, this matter has been hidden in my heart for a long time. I don't know who to say it to. I hope the teacher can help me.

Actually, it's the problem between me and my husband. We've always been very good before. My husband is quite family oriented. He is a teacher from a certain university and enjoys winter and summer vacations every year. My job is flexible and I have more freedom in time. Therefore, we basically guarantee to travel at least once a year. Since we got married, we have visited many places, and popular tourist attractions can be said to be around the corner. I think, This is equivalent to having a honeymoon every year, and the relationship between couples is definitely much better than those who don't travel frequently.

But this is only the state of the first five years, and the most prominent change is that when I was making travel plans, he used to be very enthusiastic about participating, and then he was in a state where you can decide for me. When playing, his mind was not focused on the scenery, and he didn't feel much interest. Moreover, during the trip, he would excuse himself for being tired and refuse to love me.

Occasionally, I still believe in it, but in the past two or three years, this situation has become increasingly serious. Even in normal times, he claims that teaching is very tiring, his physical condition is not good, and he doesn't want to have a relationship between husband and wife.

I'm a bit flustered. In recent years, our elders have urged us to have children. Previously, we used to use being young as an excuse, but now I am 32 years old and have entered the range of elderly mothers. If we continue to procrastinate, it is also irresponsible for our own health. When we visit the elderly on holidays, their parents and mine have bad looks.

But it's just this kind of critical moment, but he's increasingly avoiding the issue of "creating people". We can't even guarantee a normal marital life, what can I do? Can't you tell your elders directly that your husband doesn't cooperate?

I once believed that he was really working hard, but he was a person with a bit of family background and didn't put much effort into his career. Other university teachers privately tutored students or worked as trainers at training institutions. He disliked taking up his spare time like that and was unwilling to do it. I don't even know where he was tired.

But he always said he was tired during those days. At first, I carefully prepared some supplements, such as soup, and he ate them all, but still shouted tired.

I have tried to communicate with him about this matter, and he always tries to deal with me with the same tactics as dealing with difficult student parents. In short, there is no conclusion.

This makes me very embarrassed. After all, I am only in my thirties and there will be so many more days in the future. How can I live?

I have been waiting for him to adjust himself, but last year, he had another plan for the summer vacation. He said he was traveling with his colleagues in a group, and I asked where to go and if he could bring his family. He was very impatient and said that nobody else would bring him, and it was shameful for him to apply for special treatment alone.

He wouldn't even tell me where to go, only talking about western China. When I came back, I helped him pack his luggage and didn't bring me anything, nor could I find any ticket stubs for his trip. I asked him for a photo, but he said he didn't take it. The camera was with a colleague who doesn't usually have a good relationship, and he doesn't want to go and ask for it.

Anyway, I just don't know where to go, I left home for over a month before coming back without any explanation.

That's when the unease in my heart began to spread. This Spring Festival, I booked a trip to Hokkaido, but he even asked me to go with my friend and said he didn't want to go.

I cried in anger, and it wasn't me who made the decision alone. When I asked him, he said, 'Okay, okay, that's it.'. I have already booked my flight, he said to me.

We had a big argument, and I said I know you've been looking down on me for a long time. You don't need to be so indifferent to me. If you want to change people, just let me know.

Teacher, do you know how he replied to me? I was completely stunned at the time, as if someone had hit me hard on the back of the head and my head was buzzing.

He said, 'I don't feel anything for you anymore, I don't want to touch you, I don't want to see you!'!

Although he quickly apologized afterwards and even compensated for one or two marital experiences in the month after our argument, the feeling was too bad.

I can confirm that there is no third party between us, but I don't understand how he suddenly lost interest in me like this. Also, he often sends ambiguous WeChat messages to some new intern girls from their school recently. But he is a person who always talks with honey on his lips. He also said that he will handle the issue with me well.

But how long do I have to wait? How can we restore normalcy between us?

Answer:

Many women are unwilling to believe that their husband has an affair until the truth is revealed.

Because it is too difficult to accept a man who has had an affair, I choose to turn a blind eye and turn a blind eye to the abnormal phenomena in my family.

His unexplainable trip last year was enough to alert you, while you let things pass like this. In the summer vacation of July and August this year, he planned another secret trip like this. What would you do?

Especially, he has already made it clear that he has lost his feelings towards you, and he no longer respects you verbally, which is a quite dangerous signal.

There are many anomalies, but you just don't want to confirm them, and even find reasonable explanations to deceive yourself for some of his unconventional behavior. The most frightening thing is that men are restless, and women even use unfounded reasons to persuade themselves to believe in men.