Post Date December, 03 2023
Hello, I'm not sure if I will receive a response to these messages, but I still want to talk to you. In May 2013, I discovered that my husband often WeChat with a woman and had an ambiguous relationship. He had also argued and promised not to contact her again. Thinking about my child, I would continue to live with him. In fact, I don't believe they can really cut it off. I just want to be a happy fool. Yesterday, I unexpectedly found out that they were still in contact, and the phone bill showed frequent phone calls. His reason is that my family has a big car, and this woman has invested money. Because business is not good, he often calls to comfort her. I know he is lying. The most puzzling thing for me is that the money I paid for the big cart was all from me. Not only did the big cart not make money, but now I have also paid tens of thousands of yuan. He treated me like a fool, understanding, communication, and trust that couples should have. For us, there is nothing. He is full of lies, and I want to get divorced, but people around me advise me not to easily get divorced. Is divorce really so scary? How can such a man live? What should I do?
reply:
Hello, when our marriage is in trouble, first of all, don't think about getting divorced. Instead, find ways to find solutions to the problems, because any marriage will have problems, conflicts, friction, and divorce cannot solve the fundamental problems. Unless you choose to be single after divorce and no longer enter the marriage.
Now let's help you analyze in detail whether you should choose divorce. From what you have mentioned, your husband has two things that prompt you to have the idea of divorce. Firstly, he often sends ambiguous WeChat messages to a woman, and after you argue with him, he doesn't repent; Secondly, he lied to you. In fact, just these two issues alone do not constitute sufficient reasons for you to insist on divorce. Because so far, you have only found that your husband and that woman are sending ambiguous WeChat messages, which means that you have not caught his substantial infidelity behavior, and the marriage has not been severely damaged. And for his lies, I'm afraid any man has had the experience of lying, so at this time, you should still strive to save the marriage, rather than choose to give up the marriage. As you said, you still have children in common, and for the sake of your children, you should also be cautious about your divorce thoughts.
In fact, marital problems are never caused by one person. Have you ever thought about why your husband would send ambiguous WeChat messages to other women? Is it because he is bored, satisfies psychological curiosity and fresh stimulation, or because marriage is boring, life is monotonous, and he is becoming increasingly dissatisfied with you? This requires you to carefully observe and make judgments. I think the more at this time, the more calm a wife should be. She should first suppress her anger and perform better than before. She should use a woman's gentleness and thoughtfulness to influence her husband. Everyone has a conscience. Once you truly achieve your position, even if he is on the brink of infidelity, he hesitates at the thought of how you treat him, and cannot bear to do anything that betrays you again.
Of course, it's difficult to do this, as it requires women to have at least some patience and wisdom. However, as long as you can change your thinking, perspective, and try to choose a retreat based approach to dealing with problems, rather than directly angering your husband, things often have a turning point. Facts have proved that you didn't solve the problem by using noisy fractions, but it is more likely to cause your husband's reverse psychology and push him to the side of the ambiguous object, isn't it?
However, if you have a passion for emotional cleanliness, you just can't stand your husband's playboy, you can't bear men's lies, or you insist on getting divorced, then others can't stop you. You have your own choice. We just need to understand that choosing marriage is not easy, and we need to be cautious when getting married or divorced!
