My husband and the divorced woman at work are cheating, saying they're just playing tricks on me. I can't figure it out.

My husband and I have known each other for 9 years, have been in love for 5 years, and this year is our fourth year of marriage. We have been very happy all along. We have a smart and lovely son, who is less than three years old now. I have been taking care of the child as soon as it is born, and I have been taking care of it all the time. In recent years, I have been a housewife at home.

Until March of this year, I discovered that on my husband's mobile phone, there was an ambiguous message about a divorced woman from my work unit. The woman was very experienced, and she also had an 8-year-old son. The woman used to be the secretary of the chairman of the board, but now she is a purchaser, but she has also been with many men.

"My husband first contacted her to take advantage of her. At first, he told me that it was just a play. In fact, I forgave him for the sake of the child, and he promised at that time.". "But I didn't expect that in the next few months, they wouldn't stop at all. As long as I heard from others about their proximity, I would go and argue with them.". At first, he still coaxed me and comforted me. Until several months this year, I suspected and inquired from his company's employees. Whenever he went, I always wondered whether he would go to find that woman. I told his family and my parents about him. I knew that my actions were foolish and would only push him further and further away. In fact, we have had countless arguments about this matter this year, and he is now skinny. Dead pigs are not afraid of boiling water.

"Until the previous two days, we were still arguing, and I was also very tired. He said that he was also tired, because the woman now took a fancy to my husband's person, and that woman did help him. They had interests.". Some time ago, that woman also quarreled with him, and my husband finally told me to give him time to deal with things with that woman. After that, I heard his colleague say, "My husband has dinner with that woman and so on, and I quarreled with him again.". Until this Wednesday, on the night of his birthday, I wanted to celebrate his birthday with my child. He called to play cards, and we quarreled again. Yesterday, we made up. After listening to the teacher these two days, I also know what I have done. I will no longer argue with him or inquire where he has gone. I will go and change myself.

Teacher, in fact, I know what my problem is, but I just can't control my emotions. I have a bad temper and a short temper. So, teacher, I want to hear your advice. My husband's parents divorced when he was about two years old, and he was brought up by his grandparents. In fact, he is a very male chauvinistic person, a bull, and has a bad temper. However, he usually cares about me very much, and he also gives money to spend. He is willing to buy anything for me, because his parents can't help him, so he relies on himself in all aspects. He believes that as long as there is a shortcut for me to earn money, he will do it. He longs for his own money and his own success.

"That woman is the same age as him and belongs to the herd. Compared to me, that woman has experienced a lot, and I am a weak person. In fact, my husband doesn't want to be with this woman in his heart, but there is only a relationship of interest, but there is more or less emotion.". Yesterday, my husband said that he would leave the company after the New Year. He said that every time he was with that woman, he thought about me and the children in his heart, saying that no matter what he was doing outside, his heart was with me and the children.

"I have been arguing with him all the time, making trouble with him. Every time there is a fierce argument, we propose a divorce to each other. In fact, he dare not divorce me. His parents divorced when he was a child, and he also loves his children very much. In his heart, children are the first.". There is no trust between us, and it is very sensitive to mention such topics. In fact, every time I quarrel with him, I regret it. I also know that I pushed him out again, but I just can't control my emotions. As long as I hear about him and that woman, I become anxious. Therefore, he also said that as long as I don't make any noise, he will feel particularly sorry for me. As long as I make a noise, he will say some harsh words to stimulate me.

"I can't fathom his thoughts now, so please help me analyze them. If I change, can I save him?"? "I also feel that I cannot manage a marriage. I am narrow-minded, sensitive, anxious, and not calm when things happen. This is my current situation.". I hope the teacher can give me some suggestions on how to defend my marriage? Thank you, teacher.

My husband and junior are currently working in the same company. If my husband leaves that company, do you think they will break up? As long as they don't meet each other every day, the reason why they keep on working is that they are in the same company every day. Yesterday, the company leaders found my husband to talk to them, and maybe the company also knows about them. So my husband said he resigned and said that my goal was achieved.

reply:

1. Your actual experience and facts show that when a man cheats, constant noise cannot solve the problem at all, and only increases the other person's boredom and coldness towards you. As a wife, although it is hard for you to take care of your children at home, you cannot avoid the lack of your own existence. You know, when you turn yourself into a housewife, it means that the distance between you and your husband starts to widen, and your communication and topics become less and less, becoming increasingly out of sync. Especially when you focus more attention on your children, you will virtually lose the warmth and care of your husband, which will encourage him to pay attention to women outside of marriage, especially for women who can share some common language with him and provide corresponding assistance in practical work needs, as well as in getting rich.

2. Perhaps what your husband said is true. At first, even now, when he was with that divorced woman, it was a form of taking what he needed and playing tricks on the spot. Even so, this is not a normal form of marriage. Even if your husband uses this as a price to gain some benefits for you and your family, you still cannot accept it from the bottom of your heart, even if it hurts. Because of the specificity and exclusiveness of emotions, you cannot tolerate your man to provoke other women outside of yourself. However, since you are so concerned about your husband's infidelity, you should eliminate his infidelity in the bud from the beginning, and easy forgiveness ultimately leads to a resurgence.

3. Some men's circles often have a very bad gender concept, which is that it is a skill to engage with other women outside of marriage. That is, many men pursue the ideal state of maintaining a red flag at home and fluttering colored flags outside the home. Your husband may also have this mentality, and if that woman can provide support for your husband's career and earning money, he will be even more excited and unable to stop, This is why he cannot completely interrupt. "If you want your husband to completely stay away from that woman, you need to let him take you seriously from the bottom of his heart. You also need to start transcending yourself, transform into a new posture, and no longer appear in front of him like a resentful woman.". You need to work hard to improve yourself, send your children to kindergarten, and then start shaping yourself every day, from the inside out, to make yourself attractive. At least, you can no longer just bow down and become a housewife. You need to work, learn, and understand taste and elegance. When you gradually change, your husband's attention will naturally focus on you.

4. "To change a woman's attitude towards you, she must rely on herself. You need to maintain a woman's self-reliance, self-reliance, and self-confidence at all times. For this reason, you need to open your eyes and go out and not be disconnected from society. Otherwise, you and your husband cannot have normal communication, and it is easy to be eliminated by the rapidly developing society.". When men change, you also need to change. If he goes bad, you have to become strong; "If he becomes shameless, you must become ruthless. Don't be led by a man's nose, and don't lose your dignity and bottom line as a human being.". Only by living with principles can we live well; Only with a sense of right and wrong can things be done correctly.

5. If some marriages can still be retained, then you go to retain them; If you feel you can make it through some marriages, then make it through; If you feel like you can't leave some marriages, don't give up easily; If some marriages are already in existence, then you need to remain sober and not continue to compromise. Since your husband has clearly told you that he and that woman are about to end, what else do you have to grapple with? Perhaps your spring has returned, provided that you have sufficient confidence and ability to let each other enjoy the warmth of spring in this spring.