Post Date December, 03 2023
My husband and I met and married in 2009. The child is four years old this year. We have been married for nearly seven years. We are local people in Shanghai. After the house was demolished, we were divided into two houses, one large and one small. We decorated the big house and rented the small suite. Over the past few years, tenants have changed from batch to batch. Six months ago, they rented to a divorced young woman. The child went to kindergarten at the age of five. I think she is a poor single woman. The rent is several hundred cheaper for her. She was very grateful to me. She called me "elder sister short" when she saw me.
My mother-in-law is old and retired at home. Her health is not as good as before. The child should go to kindergarten at the age of four. I am worried about the daily pickup and delivery for the second old man and the living conditions at home are OK, so I resigned to take care of the child. The weekend is taken by the children's grandparents. I spend my free time cultivating feelings with my husband. Life has always been like this, and conflicts have not rarely occurred. Generally, they can be resolved. My husband has accommodated me and won't argue with me. I think I have handled the marriage life very well.
Since the female tenant came, our life has been completely disrupted. She just moved in and called us every three days. Either the faucet was leaking or the light switch in the room was faulty. I want her husband to help her repair when she is a single woman. Finally, I made phone calls one after another. At last, I paid a sum of money to replace all the things that had lasted for a long time. She also stopped for some time. I thought I had solved the problem of the female tenant and could live in peace, but I didn't think my husband was helping her repair things when the two people caught fire.
I don't know how long I would have been hidden if it hadn't been for his trip with his children. During the May Day holiday, he drove his children to travel. It happened that I had something to do in those days, so I didn't follow him. That day I called my husband and talked with the child. The child forgot to hang up the phone. I accidentally heard his voice with the female tenant. From the phone, I can judge that they are not accidental, but planned in advance.
I hung up the phone and dialed it again. He was very impatient and felt that I had made too many calls. When I asked him if there was anyone else around him, he immediately stopped talking and slowed down to make up a false call and hung up my phone in a hurry. Now I think about the contact between my husband and the female tenant, and I wake up a lot. From making frequent phone calls to repair things, to my husband taking the trouble to collect rent directly, instead of letting the other party transfer money through Alipay or WeChat, I should be alert to things between them, but I don't doubt him. I trust him too much.
The next day he came back with the child, looking unhappy. He not only didn't explain this matter, but also complained to me. He said that for so many years, I did not fulfill the responsibilities of a wife to her husband except for children. He also boasted that the female tenant was very good to her, cooked for him, comforted him, and gave him the life he wanted for so many years. I'm going crazy. Why is this man so abnormal? If you are unfaithful, you should pretend to be high. I completely lost my mind, scolded the female tenant and drove out of our house. After she left, her husband was completely heartbroken and slept with me in separate rooms for more than a month. Every time he turned me out. He did the wrong thing. Why should I bear the pain? It's unfair to me. What should I do?
Reply from the consultant:
First of all, after seven years of marriage, the freshness period of marriage will be more or less reduced. In addition, when you have children, your focus will gradually shift from your husband to your children. You may not find that your love is equal. If you put it on your husband, you will have a different idea. At the moment of his derailment, he didn't forget to complain that you hadn't done your duty, which shows how much he thought of you.
You should know that the home is a warm place for everyone to park and rest, while the husband and children are the things you live in. You have neglected this point and shifted the focus of the home. A bowl of water is uneven. How can marriage not be a problem. At this time, it is easiest for a third party to take advantage of the opportunity. A divorced woman and a man with unsatisfied marriage often contact with each other, and sparks are inevitable, but you completely ignore the seriousness of the problem.
For example, if there is a problem with the plumbing and other equipment in the rental house, you can ask the repairman to solve it. Maybe you think that your husband will do these things and save this expense, but it will increase the time of contact between them. You are "losing your wife and losing your army". Now that things have come to this point, you also drive the third party away. In your heart, you don't want this marriage to collapse.
My husband is angry with you and sleeps in different rooms. I can't stand your cruel behavior. Since he doesn't mention divorce, it means that he is just angry. Find out the problem of marriage, summarize past mistakes, learn lessons, and improve the way you get along with each other step by step. The couple is still the original match. I believe that as long as you cooperate with each other, the family can still be reorganized.
