Post Date December, 02 2023
I am 34 years old and divorced. I have a 11-year-old child with me. In 2012, I met my current boyfriend, who is 8 years younger than me. When we were together, he knew my situation, and he didn't say anything. Although he was so much younger than me, he was very good to me. I wanted him to treat me like this. He was totally a pet for me. There was no age gap between us, just one thing. His friends and family didn't know that I was divorced and had children, His parents don't know, and they are also very good to me. Sometimes I think it would be nice if I could stay with him until we grow old.
In fact, sometimes I am confused because I have no sense of security. After all, he is so much younger than me and has not married. The most important thing is that his circle of friends knows about my divorce and children. He now says that they will know sooner or later. In fact, when I heard him say this, I still felt a little comforted. I tried to say to him: In fact, my friend knows it when he knows it. Because this is a fact, no one can change it. I am most afraid that your parents know what to do? As a result, he said that he was also afraid of his parents knowing that it would be over. I suddenly felt that there was no hope. He did not intend to live with me at all, or he was very contradictory now.
I can't sleep well these days. I think I don't know how to face his friends in the future. I think I will wake up and then I can't sleep. Teacher Pang, what do you think we should do now? I thought about breaking up, but he didn't agree. In fact, I can't give up. After all, he is really good to me. Now I'm confused and don't know what to do. I can't face his friends because I cheated them, and I also told my boyfriend that at this time you don't care about being with me, but there are more and more rumors later. People will say that you are an unmarried young man, what kind of woman can't be found, and you must find a divorced man with a child, When we are together, we are doomed to experience a lot of rumors. I am afraid that others are talking about him and hurting my heart. Moreover, he is so young now. In a few years, I will be 40, and he is only in his early 30s. He was a bit of a playboy at first, but he just converged when he was with me.
But at the Spring Festival this year, he went back to his hometown and ended up with his ex-girlfriend again. Later, I learned that when he came back, he just ignored me. As long as I was there, the phone was turned off at any time. Anyway, it was abnormal. Later, when I knew it, he admitted it. As a result, he said that they were just chatting together. One night I saw how drunk he was and looked at his mobile phone. They sent red envelopes on WeChat every day, leaving messages about missing you and loving you. Then I planned to leave him, but he didn't agree. Later one night, I couldn't find his person for several hours, and the phone was also turned off. He said that he had a cold and took medicine to sleep in the car, and his cell phone had no power. That night, I gave him the last CD. We were not together. I was too tired, but I didn't know how he could send the girl away. That night, he came to me again and said that he had cut off with the girl completely. The next day we went on a trip with a friend. There was really no phone call or text message. I don't know why. After the girl's accident, he had nothing suspicious. All the people who answer the phone are in front of me, and they are with me every day. Now this is the case. His friend knows my situation, and I don't know what to do?
reply:
Normally speaking, for love, there is no wrong person to choose, but from your talk, I personally don't think much of you. Because you are facing many obstacles. The first is the age problem between you. For those men and women who love you deeply, although distance is not a problem and age is not an obstacle, it depends on the age gap between you. If you are in your 40s and he is in his 30s, it is better because you are more mature, and your understanding of feelings and life is relatively stable. But now you are in your 30s and he is in his 20s, and even you are worried about security. There are certain variables and risks. Moreover, in this era, men change their minds faster than magic.
Second, you are divorced with an 11-year-old child, but he is still a young man. Your experience and personal conditions are so mismatched. Even if they are combined, whether you can handle this practical problem is a question mark. Besides, you hide your situation from his relatives and friends, and your boyfriend has no confidence to bear the fact that you divorced with your children in front of his parents. If that day comes, what will happen.
Third, you confess that your little boyfriend has had a flirtatious experience, and he can find his ex-girlfriend if he doesn't marry you. If he gets married in the future, in the face of the triviality of life, the responsibilities of family and the constraints of complex relationships, whether your boyfriend can take on the heavy responsibilities at that time is unknown. At that time, he will probably choose to escape, or continue to hang out with other women to reduce pressure for himself.
In short, you must think about these things before marriage. You need to understand that love and marriage are completely different things, and you as a past person will not understand them. In order to have a happy and safe marriage, not to let the marriage repeat itself, but also for the healthy growth of children, please choose your marriage partner carefully. If you really think it's OK for two people to be together, but it's a pity that you can't part with them, then face up to the problem now. The ugly daughter-in-law will have to see her parents-in-law sooner or later, and the paper will not contain the fire after all. Don't you hurry to tell the truth with his family as soon as you cut the mess. If you are destined to get married naturally, you can only let it go.
