Post Date December, 03 2023
In reality, men can be called "Alexander"! Besides, middle-aged men are generally the backbone of society and family. However, no matter how many "difficulties" and how many "hardships" men have, they still have to face it bravely. No matter how much pressure, it's all on your own.
Anger is abuse
Anger is a situation we often encounter in our life. Even "angry to death" is a common oral language. Whether it's a dispute with the boss in the company or being silenced by the "unreasonable" wife at home, men usually sit alone in the corner and sulk. That sense of frustration and loss is difficult to express in words. In fact, where is there so much anger? American sociologists once said in a book entitled "Anger, Misunderstood Emotion": "Anger is not a kind of innate emotion and behavior, but a learned one. People decide whether to be angry or not." That is to say, people's anger can be controlled by themselves. This is why some people are furious about the same thing, while others are complacent and don't care about it. So, as long as you understand that anger is your own frustration and self abuse, you will not often let yourself "angry", unless you take anger as the spice of life.
It's easy to be angry. Listen to the expert's advice.
First of all, you should adjust your mind and remind yourself that you don't have to think like that. Everything has both good and bad sides. Think about the good side. In addition, try to slow down your anger. If your immediate reaction to an event is to be angry, try to delay for 15 seconds and then erupt in your usual way. Next time, delay for 30 seconds, and keep lengthening this time. Once you see that you can delay your anger, you have learned to control. Delay is control. With more practice, it can be completely eliminated.
Secondly, when you are angry, remind yourself that everyone has the right to be what he wants to be. You ask others not to be like that, but you just find yourself angry. Also, when you are angry, approach your loved ones and find "love" from them to neutralize your hostility. Another stupid way is to make an "angry diary" to record the exact time, place and things of anger and all the angry behaviors. You will soon find that if you are often angry, just keeping an "angry diary" can force you to be less angry.
Depression, the enemy of positive progress
Modern life is tense and stressful, and people don't have much time to understand and communicate with each other, so depression has become a common bad emotion in modern life. Maybe it's because of lovelorn, maybe it's because someone else has been promoted and you don't have it. In either case, the mood of depression will plummet. Even the most interesting things at ordinary times can't arouse your enthusiasm, and your heart is miserable, and there are often insomnia, loss of appetite, and even pessimism, disappointment and despair, and loss of courage in life.
The most effective way to eliminate depression is to change your cognitive style, increase the flexibility of thinking, think objectively, and don't get too far. A common training method is to make a diary record of "negative thoughts", including the date, situation, and mood at that time (record the degree of depression and anxiety, with 0 for none, and 100 for the strongest). The "negative thoughts" at that time should be recorded in time for further correction. In the records of these "negative thoughts", you should look at these things as a bystander, and you will find that you often think in this way when you are depressed: absolute thinking, that is, you always evaluate yourself in an extreme way, either black or white. In fact, life is full of vague colors between black and white. Why bother to define yourself?
Typical thinking of unhappy men
Subjective assumption: making arbitrary negative conclusions on the basis of no factual basis. There should be factual evidence for everything. It is ridiculous to conclude that the boss is not satisfied with you just because his eyes are not as enthusiastic as before. How do you know that the boss is not in a bad mood because he quarreled with his wife today?
Partial coverage: grasp the details and make negative judgments on the whole. Taking out of context is the most direct and effective way to fall into depression. Consider things in a comprehensive way, and don't hold on to any point, unless you want to "compete" with yourself.
Individualization: take the initiative to blame others for their mistakes and mistakes, and take responsibility for others' misfortunes and mistakes. Sometimes "too conscientious" will make you into a dilemma. Not all the things related to you have failed, it is your fault. It's right to reflect on yourself, but don't be too harsh on yourself. You don't even let yourself go. Is there any way for you to live in this world?
Men don't have to live too tired. Sometimes they should release their mood. Men also have to carry this society and their own home.
(Intern editor: Zhao Minqing)
