Post Date December, 02 2023
A woman asked me a question that people rarely thought of: "Why can't marriage tolerate dedication?" She said that she had violated her father's order to marry a man with a lower education than her. After marriage, she made money day and night to support him to go to part-time college, and took care of all the housework. She thought he must be attached to this family, but unexpectedly he asked for a divorce. She believed that he had no affair. He said that he wanted to be free alone, that's all. She was sad and confused: Why can't marriage allow neither taking nor giving?
It can be seen from this woman's narration that her pain is caused by "dedication". The behavior she identified as "dedication", to put it bluntly, is "loss" in her subconscious. This shows that her "dedication" to marriage is not an instinct, but a result of enlightenment. The good upbringing gave her tenacious perseverance, which enabled her to work hard for years and suppress herself to meet the social and cultural value orientation of "dedication". In this way, the feeling of "dedication", even if she felt that she was at a loss, put her in a certain psychological advantage, and then her psychology lost its balance. Although rationality and cultivation hide this imbalance, her husband still feels that it is the disharmony caused by this imbalance that he escaped from.
From a scientific point of view, the relationship between husband and wife can only be reached by mutual needs of physiology and psychology.
Some people can't bear the dedication in marriage, while others enjoy the dedication of their spouses with peace of mind. Interestingly, if you are ready to give and are sure that you are giving, your spouse is often ungrateful; Only when marriage is regarded as enjoyment rather than dedication can your spouse enjoy marriage wholeheartedly.
I heard a friend talk about a man who graduated from college, was handsome and handsome, and a young girl college student showed his love to him. However, his marriage choice surprised everyone who knew him: he married a rural girl who was older than him and a little ugly! When asked why, he said that he would rather marry an ugly woman who loved him more than he loved her, or a beautiful woman who loved him less than he loved her.
The boaster said that the beautiful man married the ugly woman was a sacrifice, but he didn't think so. His wife thought it was a pleasure to take care of her husband because it was the happy life she dreamed of. As a husband, he is not only taken care of by his wife, but also affected by his wife's happiness. Of course, he feels happy in his marriage. When marriage is at the best juncture that two people need, it is at its best.
