Post Date December, 03 2023
I have found that many people who have been together for a long time tend to have a casual, disrespectful attitude towards their partner, and even speak impolitely, constantly criticizing, complaining, and shouting at each other, making them look completely different from when you first started dating.
They will feel that since they are both old husbands and wives, and have been together for so long, there is no need to pay attention to their speech. They also feel that the other party should accept their bad temper, willful and unreasonable behavior, because after being together for a long time, they can freely vent their emotions and ignore their feelings?
Because we are married, it is natural for the other party to accept their own unhappiness, so we don't have to worry about their thoughts carefully. Can we freely present the ugly side to the other party?
Many people will ask, in this age of high divorce demography and difficult feelings to maintain, how to manage feelings? I think the most basic thing is that you should still be polite to your significant other.
I have written in an article that many people are polite to outsiders, but they are not polite to their loved ones and family members. They are very tolerant towards outsiders, but they are meticulous towards their family members. Many people are even only good to outsiders and treat their families poorly. It's really strange to think this way. If the most important thing for us is your family and your significant other, shouldn't we treat them better? If you are not good to the people you love, but polite and polite to those who are not important, it is very unreasonable to think about it.
We often have a misconception that the person who loves us must unconditionally tolerate and accept us. This statement may not seem wrong, but I do not believe that love is unconditional. Instead, this idea itself is very selfish. If they love us with force, we can treat them unfairly at will, which is not fair to the person you love! Moreover, do you really think he will always accept and endure it?
Of course, when you love someone, you have to accept their shortcomings, but it doesn't mean that we constantly use our own shortcomings to hurt others. Some people may say, 'I have a bad temper and then hurt others.' Some may say, 'I have a kind heart, but my mouth is cheap, so I always say those harsh words to hurt others...' I think this is all selfishness.
If you are aware of your shortcomings and weaknesses, you need to change and make yourself better, cuter, and more worthy of love, rather than feeling that others should tolerate your shortcomings forever.
The most basic thing in managing a relationship is to know how to say compliments, thanks, and apologies to the other party. Many people say that since we have been together for a long time, it shouldn't be bad if we say it or not! Actually, there is really a difference, and it's much worse!
I often give examples. Every time I am busy doing household chores or washing dishes, I always feel tired and irritable. My other half will tell me, 'Wife, it's been hard!'! At the moment of hearing this, my mood immediately improved and I was even happier washing dishes!
It's hard for you to imagine the power of a sentence and the change in your mood it brings. Next time, give it a try and praise the other person a lot. Speak out what you think is good about them, don't be shy, and don't keep it in your heart because if you don't say it, you don't understand how much they feel when they hear it.
Sincerely praise your partner, let them know that they are worth it, loved, and more importantly, you need to know how to praise them in public and in front of family and friends. Make him feel so valued by you!
If you see the other party giving you something, you must express gratitude and tell them how much you appreciate their kindness. I often say thank you to my partner, even if it's just him buying me bread and making me a cup of coffee, no matter how small it is, I will happily say thank you to him. Not only in the text message, but also in the mouth.
Dear, he won't know until you tell him. Don't be stingy in expressing praise and gratitude (if it's genuine). For you, it's just a sentence, but for him, it's a heart full of joy. So, why are you stingy enough to say it?
I think someone who knows how to praise their partner outside and thank them outside is a wise companion.
In addition to praise and gratitude, of course, if he has any shortcomings or does not do well enough, you should first acknowledge his efforts, and then intelligently tell him what you hope he can do better. Don't always deny, criticize, and complain, and in the end, it will only lead to the destruction and vicious cycle of arguments and relationships. Instead, you need to know how to speak in a better tone, not to say angry words, not to say hurtful words or personal attacks. You need to acknowledge his efforts and then tell him that you hope he can do better.
Because no one likes to always be denied. If you don't even give him a little affirmation, he is really so bad and has no advantages. Why do you need to be with him? From a different perspective, we are not perfect ourselves, are we?
Finally, the most difficult thing to say is to apologize! Many people have disputes and unhappiness in their relationships, and it is difficult to pull their face down and say sorry. It's really difficult to understand that instead of feeling unhappy, cold hearted, or pretending to be okay, it's just not willing to say sorry. Saying sorry does not necessarily mean that you are wrong or that you have lost, but rather that you are willing to cherish your emotions.
If two people argue and are willing to bow their heads first, they are more willing to cherish their emotions. Those who are willing to let the other party know first are also those who care more about their emotions.
I think people who can manage a happy marriage usually have lower physique and are more willing to let each other, of course, this must be mutual. But if you always have to hold onto airs, have a big temper, and always have someone make him go, you will always end up being the loneliest person. Because no one can endure it for a lifetime.
Having a relationship may not be difficult, but managing a long-term happy relationship depends on your intelligence. The simplest three things are to express your praise, gratitude, and apology! Love needs to be spoken out, told to the other person, and they will know.
