It turns out that personality incompatibility is not the reason for divorce, but his excuse

I have heard of many reasons for divorce, and the most common one is the incompatibility of personality, because no one is right or wrong, and no one owes anyone. But from my personal experience, things are not as simple as I thought.

My husband and I got to know each other at a friend's party. He is the boss of a toy company. I am a ballet teacher; He 32, I 26; He likes girls with temperament, and I like uncle boys. Naturally, the two people chatted together. One year later, she married and gave birth to a girl. She looked lovely. However, he doesn't like it and seldom holds the baby. Every time he was asked to hold him, he would say that children would dirty their clothes if they took a shit.

Because of my rich family, I became a full-time wife after having children. Although there is no need to work, it is also very tiring to take care of children. It is more tiring than going to work. It has been busy all day and has hardly had a rest. However, he was never considerate of me, and he was very irascible, like a changed person. If the food is salty, he won't eat it; When he came home, he made a big noise before he had prepared his meal... He always lost his temper over some small things and quarreled with each other inexplicably. I was so angry that I threw the bowl and told him not to go home. He is quite obedient. Every time I say this, he really doesn't go home and spends 2-3 days outside. Finally, he didn't come home until I called him back.

The next year, I gave birth to a second child, another girl. He can't even look at the baby. Moreover, he is more irascible. He will be angry if he doesn't speak a word or two, and sometimes he will fight hard. He often takes me for a lot of money to talk about. Before, my mother-in-law would help me with my baby, but now my mother-in-law doesn't even come. She also speaks ill of me everywhere, saying that I am the black sheep and bitch. I am scared to go out, afraid to see the neighbors, and they look at me with strange eyes.

Why should my husband and mother-in-law treat me like this? I don't understand. I don't do anything wrong. I raise my baby fat and white. It wasn't until one day that I found out what happened to my husband. In the morning, I went out to buy vegetables, passed a park, and walked along. Suddenly, I heard someone talking about having a baby. I immediately squatted beside the fence to eavesdrop. An aunt said that now rich people like boys, and it is not acceptable to have two girls. The one upstairs is quarreling because of having two girls. I can hear their quarrels when I live on the second floor downstairs. The quarrels are very annoying in the middle of the night. But the man was very happy as soon as he left the house, because there were other women waiting for him downstairs. Alas... I listened, collapsed on the ground, and tears could not help flowing down.

When I got home, I asked my husband if it was like this. He blew his hair and made a noise to divorce me. He said that the two people were not compatible with each other. He was grumpy. If it lasted for a long time, I'm afraid it would be bad for me. Now, divorce will be mentioned every two or three days. I'm so scared. My youth is gone, my body is gone, and my job is gone.

Reply from the consultant:

From the situation you described, you are now in a very passive position. Without a job, it is very difficult to return to your original position. Besides, you are not welcome at home, and often quarrel and get angry. However, you don't have the courage to divorce. You dare not go out of this family and are afraid of not finding a good future.

At the beginning, you may have climbed up to your husband and were willing to "sacrifice" yourself to complete the family for him. Perhaps because you are too simple and have not contacted the concept of rich families, you do not understand the importance of boys to them. After giving birth to two girls, the conflict became increasingly serious. In addition, when you mentioned something he didn't want to mention, you stepped on his red line, and the "bomb" of divorce was ignited.

If you don't want to divorce, you can have another boy, but this is not what you can control. You have to have another plan. Be a buried "camel" for the time being. Don't quarrel with him, try to ease the conflict, and at the same time recover your body, prepare for finding a job, and seek independence. If you can't give birth to a boy, you should find a way out for yourself, take out the weapon of law, get a large amount of property compensation, and ensure that you have no worries about your future life. After all, you have paid a great price for your family, and your body is deformed. It is not easy to return to your post to teach dance again.