Is sexual intercourse ability different from sexual ability? How to maintain good sexual ability

The so-called sexual ability does not only refer to the ability of men and women to have sexual intercourse, but also includes a wide range of meanings of love. Firstly, you don't dislike women, you really like your girlfriend, and psychologically want to interact with her, which is a characteristic of sexual ability. Secondly, in your interactions with her, as the relationship deepens, there must be behaviors of mutual intimacy and caressing, such as hugging, kissing, etc., which is also a sexual ability. Marrying her in the end indicates that you have a relatively complete sexual thinking process psychologically, but you lack validation of sex and therefore lack confidence.

Your reproductive system is not flawed either. Although you did not mention any of this in your letter, your normal penile erection, sexual impulse, and ejaculation indicate that your sexual physiological structure is normal. So what exactly are you lacking? I think the only thing missing is sexual experience. Isn't it unfounded to speculate about sexual experiences without sexual experience and assume that one's abilities are not good?

Fortunately, you still understand that this assumption is not appropriate, but you have to think about it involuntarily, that is, you currently have forced thinking. The direct cause of this compulsive thinking is related to your personality. The pursuit of perfection in general is not a bad thing, but if everything is to be perfect, the so-called "picking the bone in the egg" always seeks one's own shortcomings, it will create a fixed mindset, knowing that one should not think about something, but involuntarily thinking about it. This also indicates that people who pursue perfection too much often lack confidence, so you should focus on the big picture in everything, not stick to small details, and maintain self-confidence.

Another possibility is that you see the relationship between men and women as too mysterious. As the saying goes, "everything comes naturally", why are you so nervous now? It's like a person walking on a single wooden bridge, who could have walked over calmly and effortlessly, but due to excessive worry and nervousness, their body may lose control and fall off. This is obviously not a physical problem, but a psychological problem.

Since there is a psychological problem, it is necessary to face it squarely and make efforts to adjust the psychological state of correction: relax your perfectionism and give yourself some confidence; Regarding so-called sexual abilities, just like facing your academic performance, it should also be a natural thing. With love, there will be corresponding sexual abilities.