I was once advised by my mother-in-law to divide, but the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has not yet been sealed

Q:

When in love, many things are very simple, thinking that love is everything, and only after marriage do you know that love is ultimately nothing but fuel, rice, oil, and salt. I am a rectum who doesn't know how to turn when speaking. The first time I had a conflict with his family, I wasn't married yet. "Because of the quarrel with him, I got angry and gave him a slap. As a result, he fought back and also gave me a slap.". I really can't accept it. This has never happened before. The next day, the more I thought about it, the more aggrieved I was, so I called his father and said that your son called me. At that time, I naively thought that they would help me scold my son. Who knows that my son is always good for himself. After a few days, his mother told us to break up.

"My heart says that if you have anything strange, you can divide it. If there's anything remarkable about it, you'll have to share it with him after eating the iron.". Unexpectedly, he refused and cried to tell his parents that they could not break up. his mother was so distressed when she saw his son, so she followed him. Perhaps it's due to pride. I hate them so much in my heart that I won't compromise even if I die. Go downstairs to buy a clothes box and get ready to pack up and leave. Who knows, I happened to meet his parents downstairs. I looked at them and left without even calling them. They didn't speak either.

Later, I blamed myself for not winning, perhaps because I loved him too much, and finally made up with him. Later, I learned that his family thought we really broke up. They once held a criticism conference at home and all supported breaking up with me. It's so heartfelt! These people, ostensibly, treat me like this secretly.

"I am not a bad girl except for my bad temper and outspoken speech. It makes my heart cold to think of this. I have never told my mother about these things, and I feel so uncomfortable that no one knows...".

Last year, we got married and lived separately from our husband's family. We bought a house ourselves. Although we don't live together, it's not as complicated as other mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and they occasionally come to stay for a few days. I also want to be kind to them. After all, I am my husband's father and mother, but due to the shadow of previous breakups, I always feel excluded and uncomfortable. "I don't know why. I always feel like they don't like me, and I don't like them either. Anyway, each one goes his own way. This bad idea has always been driving me around, my God!"!

Mom always tells me to be sensible and kind to my mother-in-law, but I have such a thorn in my heart that I really don't know how to pull it out. Anything I feel unhappy about is on my face, and I feel like there is no cure for it. What should I do?

Answer:

Judging from your situation, it is not so much the contradiction between your wife and mother-in-law as it is the pride of your favor. Love is not worth living things. It is inseparable from the nourishment of firewood, rice, oil and salt; The true value of love is to rely on youthful vigor and the love of the other party, to blindly take without knowing how to give, to plunder without knowing how to be grateful, as long as one is happy, regardless of the willfulness and domineering of others. When you rob him of his love and break his parents' hearts, what do you want him to love you with, and what strength will accompany you down the road.

There is nothing wrong with being straightforward in your personality, but you cannot only think about yourself when you think about problems, and you cannot handle relationships with your parents-in-law just by yourself. If you can, don't argue with your parents-in-law anymore. Show your self-restraint and cultivation, and when they come to be guests, ask for warmth and comfort from them. Take care, buy more gifts to warm their hearts, and thank them for helping you raise a good husband who loves you so much. "You really did this, making your parents-in-law happy and boasting about you every time they met, saying that it was fortunate that you didn't break up with their son at the beginning.". If so, how proud should you be? How proud should your husband be of marrying you? In that case, wouldn't the shadow left by the breakup naturally dissipate?