Post Date December, 03 2023
Qiqi is not the type of girl with a very eye-catching appearance. I am surprised that she has studied at a university in the provincial capital and stayed in a city like Shantou for several years. She still retains a lot of the simplicity unique to rural girls. Her dress has no trace of fashion at all, and her non powdered face is adorned with a few pimples, which gives her a cute look that goes back to basics. Qiqi and I are from the same place, and when she spoke, the strong local accent made me feel even more intimate. After a brief conversation, our conversation quickly turned to the main topic. Qiqi said that she hoped her story would serve as a wake-up call for those girls in love -——
I came from an ordinary peasant family. After graduating from high school, I was admitted to a vocational college in Guangzhou. After graduation, I went to Shantou to find a job. Although I have lived in the city for several years, I have never been assimilated by the city. The bustling and lively urban life passes by every day, but it seems to be very far away from me. After staying in the city for a long time, I increasingly miss the days I spent in the countryside as a teenager, the simple folk customs and warm hometown sentiment.
At the beginning of this year, I participated in a program called "Single Apartments" held by the radio station. As the name suggests, the participants in the program were all single men and women with courtship intentions. I am very confident in presenting my criteria for spouse selection: focusing on personal comprehensive qualities, followed by other aspects such as money and status. It is also emphasized that people from rural backgrounds are the first choice. Once the conditions are met, there are many who can respond. After multiple comparisons, I chose him.
Among everyone, his condition is not the best, what I admire is that he comes from the countryside. His home is in the suburbs. He graduated from a technical school and obtained a college diploma through self-study. He works in a technical field in a state-owned enterprise and is 5 years older than me. After contact, I felt that he met the conditions I had originally proposed, and he also found me quite satisfactory. Therefore, both parties decided to continue the relationship.
I work for a computer company and he shows great concern for my work and life. Whenever he sees information about the internet in newspapers and magazines and thinks it is helpful to me, he will cut it out and give it to me. When the two of them were together, he also had the demeanor of a big brother and looked thoughtful and considerate. I feel sweet in my heart. He has been to my house and my family has a good impression of him.
After a period of socializing, a very close classmate of mine said to me, "You should be careful. People have ulterior motives these days. You got to know him through this form, and you don't know his background at all. People of his age may even have wives at home, so it's better to be cautious." I heard this and felt it was reasonable, and my heart became slightly worried. On a date, I shared my concerns with him, and he laughed and said, "Since you're not at ease, just come to my house for a 'field trip' anytime
One day, I went to his house to do something, and after finishing it, I really hung up on him and said I wanted to visit his house. He readily agreed.
His family lives in a typical farmyard, with his parents, his brother's family and him living in a three story building, just like what he once described. His parents are very kind and amiable. Although they have not been farming for a long time, they still cannot take off the appearance of farmers, honest and kind, and not good at words. Seeing these, a stone fell to the ground in my heart.
But gradually, I realized that he was a bit unbelievable. For example, when two people are talking together, they will deliberately bring the topic closer to the sexual aspect. At this moment, I will feel flushed and quickly avoid it. Once, we accidentally talked about the issue of getting pregnant before marriage. I said that when encountering such a situation, it is natural for women to suffer. Being a woman is really hard. He didn't take it seriously and said, "Actually, as long as you pay attention, this kind of thing can be completely avoided." I was surprised and said, "Wow! It seems you have a lot of experience
We usually go to the park for our evening dates, and after ten o'clock, I always offer to go back. One night, when I asked to go home as usual, he said to me like this: "Not afraid, sit down for a while longer. If it's too late, you'll come home and sleep with me. I'll take you back early tomorrow morning, so no one knows." He spoke very seriously, not like he was joking, and I suddenly became serious, Say to him in a more serious tone, "Don't say such things to me again in the future. I will never cross the line until the day I get married
What surprised me was that just as I felt our relationship was gradually stabilizing and I was working towards marriage, he came up with an incredible "viewpoint": before getting married, he must confirm that the woman can be in harmony with him sexually in order to work together towards marriage. He spoke eloquently to me and said, "Otherwise, what would I do if I encounter someone with a cold personality?" This statement sounded deafening to me! He told me that everything was good in his eyes, but he knew nothing about me in that aspect. He really wanted to give it a try before getting married. I was furious when I heard this and said, "How unreasonable! Which girl is willing to let you 'give it a try'?" He said lightly, "Don't be too open-minded, girls nowadays are very open..." This made me sound like he had 'tried' several times, although he denied it and repeatedly emphasized that he was' pure '. But how can I trust him again? I firmly said to him, "If you want to 'try' me, you can't think of it! My chastity is hard to buy
I was really surprised why he had such thoughts, and the more I thought about it, the more terrifying it became. He once told me that his colleagues often go to Laiwu to "relax" and invite him to go with them, but he didn't go. When he said the word 'relax', his expression was very ambiguous, which made him think about those messy aspects. There is one more thing that makes me not shiver when I think of it. Since I met him, his skin has always been bad, with a prickly rash like erythema on his arm. I once asked him, and he said it was a skin allergy, but it hasn't healed for a long time. And his nose is a bit drowsy, but the photos he showed me before were not like this. His nose is very tall and full, but now it's a bit sagging, which I think is very scary. Once, he gave me a book and I found a prescription inside, which was from a skin hospital. A very terrifying word suddenly popped out of my mind - sexually transmitted diseases! This makes my hair stand on end!
To be honest, I really like him. After dating for so long, I gradually developed an indelible affection for him. If it weren't for his unexpected growth, perhaps we would have stepped onto the red carpet. However, since I refused his request to "give it a try" last time, he has been very cold to me and gradually stopped looking for me. He has now cut off contact.
This is the end of the matter. I think it's impossible for me and him to continue developing. I feel regretful, not for myself, but for him. After all, I am really worried about a friend's situation. If this continues, he will go further and further away from the misconception of "sex", and the consequences will be unimaginable. As a former friend, I really want to advise him that he can't continue like this anymore. Without a healthy outlook on marriage and love, it's impossible to have a happy marriage.
I would like to use my personal experience to warn those sisters who are in passionate love not to be fooled by love. No matter when and where you are, you should always remember to grasp yourself and learn to say "no
(Intern Editor: Cai Junyi)
