Post Date December, 02 2023
My husband and I have been in love for two years and married for one year.
When we were in love, both of us were still studying, and our school was not in the same city. However, we didn't feel that hard. We called and texted every day, which was so sweet. At that time, the number of SMS messages per month had to exceed the specified number in the telecommunications package. As soon as we finished class, we would guard the computer, QQ voice, and often chat all night until the dormitory lights were turned off. Our roommates would bring back the meals, or we would rush to a small shop near the campus to buy a hamburger and milk tea to pass the time. At that time, the happiness was very simple. Every day when I heard the other person's voice, I was very satisfied. Each other is their entire world.
At that time, we were very determined and convinced that we were the other half of each other, and we were getting married as soon as we graduated. His parents are very supportive, but my parents are not very satisfied with him. They think that his husband likes to exaggerate and is not a simple person. But I think it's better for men to have masculinity, and the ones who dislike men the most are those who are too honest and don't understand emotions.
I have made up my mind, but my parents' attitude is also firm. They just feel that my husband's character is flawed. It's no use praising my husband's strengths. To them, being able to speak fluently is like glib tongues, and masculinity is like masculinity.
Although later facts have repeatedly proven that it was me who looked down upon me. My parents have lived for decades and have traveled more bridges than I have. They are indeed accurate in judging people, and I am a beauty in the eyes of the beholder, unable to see any of his shortcomings. It's all a follow-up.
The final result of our efforts was that we successfully obtained the certificate, but because my parents were very dissatisfied with this marriage, we didn't have a drink on our side. Their family did hold a wedding, but to be honest, it disappointed me. It felt too casual and not the wedding I wanted at all. His parents are quite polite to me, but the feeling they give me is that they don't care who their son marries, as long as they can get a wife. This also makes my heart quite uncomfortable. I feel that I am not taken seriously. Fortunately, my husband's love for me eased some of the discomfort in my heart.
As time goes by, conflicts arise.
He doesn't have a strong academic degree, so after finishing his studies, he followed his second uncle to run a business, saying that he can earn money quickly. I work as a cashier in a company. I originally had no objections to his business dealings, but due to his business dealings, he spent less time with me. Especially at night, there are always social gatherings, whether it's the boss or the boss. A group of people gather together and drink alcohol when they eat. After drinking, they even go singing karaoke. Every time they return home, it's at least 9:00 or 10:00. He still has a foul smell of alcohol and smoke.
At the beginning, I was quite generous and received a text message from him asking me to socialize, so I patiently waited at home. His brother's wife, as long as her husband does not return home for an hour beyond normal time, starts to make a series of fatal calls, desperately making phone calls to track his whereabouts, even if he emphasizes socializing. I didn't do this, I gave my husband full freedom. In fact, when he doesn't come back, I feel very uncomfortable and can't help but think about who he is with and what he is doing at the moment. But every time my husband comes back, he always swears to me, 'Don't worry, wife, I won't do anything wrong to you.'.
It is impossible to experience the taste of waiting for a man at home every day without experiencing it. The feeling of heart entanglement. I am alone, facing the fluorescent light on the computer screen, missing the time when I was always with my husband at school, reminiscing repeatedly and feeling heartbroken. It has been a long time since I received his phone call, informing me that there is another dinner party tonight; I received a text message, but it just told me that I will be home late tonight.
My focus in life is waiting, waiting, waiting.
Once, it was rare for him to come back early. I decided to treat him well and plan to cook a sweet and sour pork tenderloin. Unfortunately, there was no sugar at home, so I asked him to buy a bag at the small supermarket downstairs. As a result, he went for a long time and didn't come back. I was about to call him and asked, but when I looked at my phone, a text message he sent me was: "Wife, when I meet Mr. Liu, I'll talk to him for a while and come back soon
I held my phone and sat for a long, long time.
That day, he finally came back at eleven o'clock. His "chat" lasted for almost five hours, and I waited at home for five hours. When he saw me, he remembered and couldn't help apologizing. He said that his wife was sorry and had a lot of fun chatting. Later, he was taken by Boss Liu to have a drink and barbecue, and forgot to call you. Don't be angry, my wife.
He easily dealt with the matter when he forgot a word, but has he ever thought about it? I have been waiting for him until now, but I haven't had my meal yet. The grievances in my heart immediately turned the river upside down, and I couldn't even say a word, tears streaming down my face. I trembled and said, 'Wife, you've forgotten everything. What else can't you forget?'.
That time, he coaxed me for a long time before I regained my strength.
I thought he could make a difference, but it turned out that I was naive. He still couldn't move back home without a whiff of alcohol. I told my parents about the situation, and they were both heartbroken and angry. They criticized me and said, 'I told you earlier that this is not a proper man, and you insist on dealing with him. It's okay now, let's see what you do.'. I know my parents are worried about me, but their words make me even more sad. It's impossible for me to go to my friends and tell them about the sweetness that my husband and I had in the past. My classmates and friends are all visible to us, but now that our family is like this, who can believe it. I am even less likely to file a complaint with my parents in law. They already do not value my daughter-in-law and saying so will only increase their aversion to me.
Just tell my husband that he always promises well, but he always makes empty promises, such as returning home on time, not drinking anymore, and he can't make any of those beautiful promises.
A week ago, on our first wedding anniversary, I repeatedly reminded him that no matter what, this day would be free for me. He promised well. What about the results? Actually, I didn't have much expectations. It was only that day that I watched the clock go from six to twelve, and the carefully prepared food on the table was completely cold before he entered the house.
This feeling of disappointment to the extreme is too painful. I feel like I'm almost unable to sustain myself anymore. Who can help me?
Ms. Chen:
At the beginning of a man's career struggle, busyness is understandable, but being too busy and even forgetting important dates and agreements between you is indescribable.
Many men have this mentality, thinking that if their wife marries them back home, there is no need to chase them as hard as in love. Some words and actions are relaxed, and communication with their wife is not as frequent as in love. If this is the only way to solve the problem, you can express your desire to take care of your husband and change his thoughts.
Your focus should not be on 'he always comes home late', but on 'why he always comes home late'. This is not to guide you to think in the wrong direction, but to hope that you can prevent it from happening. You should know that a man who always lingers at dinner and gatherings at night is highly likely to be tempted by the outside world. Extramarital affairs are the poison of marriage, and this is not sensationalism. You need to hold onto your marriage and no longer simply tolerate, wait, or compromise.
