How to get rid of the troubles caused by sexual activity? Don't overly rely on sexual skills when it comes to love between couples

A student who wants to apply for a doctoral degree said during our conversation that he regards it as an assignment to complete. His research work is very heavy, and he also needs to prepare for exams. In the face of competition, he must maintain a passionate fighting spirit every day. After returning home, I have to take the initiative again. Therefore, he felt very tired, both physically and mentally exhausted, and gradually lost interest in sexual life. Another gentleman complained that his wife was too proactive in sexual life, which actually dampened his original desire and passion for conquest, and he felt at a loss about what to do. Most men feel uneasy about the inevitable decline after marriage. So they often avoid sexual activity and gradually transform their original interests into a burden.

Firstly, it is necessary to acknowledge the existence of the problem; Tell them clearly that they are not sick; Finally, it is pointed out that the key to the problem is the existence of bias in regulation, as well as some vague or erroneous understandings. To get rid of the dilemma of sexual life, the following points should be achieved:

1. There is no standard for the frequency. That is to say, the position of sexual life should be placed in a proper position. For some couples, once a month is more effective and both parties are satisfied. And some people may have sex five times a week to feel satisfied. This is an individual difference and cannot be forced to be uniform. As long as both parties are honest and express their feelings clearly, they will coordinate and avoid mutual suspicion, otherwise a vicious cycle will form.

Many men measure their sexual ability based on frequency. In fact, the quality of sexual life is more important. Break this superstition and it won't happen.

2. Emotional contact is not necessarily sexual behavior. Men generally believe that contact must involve behavior, which is wrong. Sexual activity involves many aspects and may not always be accompanied by excitement. Women are most aware of the fact that as long as they have a certain sense of care, it is enough. That is to say, when your wife actively embraces you, she may not necessarily ask you to take it seriously, perhaps she just wants to find a warm feeling.

3. Carry out in a planned manner. Having sex should also be planned, only in this way can there be tacit cooperation between couples. In fact, setting up a sexual life plan for two people is also a very emotional enjoyment. For example, a gentleman complained that my wife usually likes to have sex after finishing household chores and waiting for the child to fall asleep, and I just can't bring it up at this time. As a result, they fell asleep without enjoying each other. It can be seen that making plans is very important.

4. Play some romantic tricks. When couples are alone, they can light candles for dinner; Or they can cover their legs with blankets, watch the moon on the balcony, chat, and relive their first love. Nowadays, many couples still have a popular way of making love, which is to occasionally go to a hotel for the night. Enjoying sexual life in a casual way often leads to a particularly relaxed mood, which can not only alleviate stress but also enhance intimacy between couples. There is no fixed equation for love, and so is sexual life.

Couples should not be overly dependent

In the eyes of many men, being considerate of their loved ones during sexual activity means using superb techniques to make them achieve success. In fact, this is a misunderstanding by men about the importance of sexual skills. Overemphasizing skills between individuals may not necessarily satisfy the other party.

Sexual skills refer to the skills to master how to have a smooth sexual life and how to enhance it on the basis of fully understanding the structure of men, mainly including, hugs, Sex position and many other contents.

The appropriate use of sexual techniques between couples can have beneficial effects. But first of all, both parties must truly have a need for it, otherwise, having too much skill in sexual activity will not only violate the other party's personal dignity, but also cause psychological harm to both parties. Secondly, the marital relationship must be quite good, with both parties having similar levels of sexual attitude, otherwise it will have adverse effects. Thirdly, sexual techniques must be scientific and safe.

Overemphasizing sexual skills recklessly weakens the inevitable connection between sex and love, turning the act of love into a mechanical action, and causing the other party to experience feelings of alienation and personal humiliation.

In addition, excessive pursuit of sexual skills may lead men to the illusion that at any time, simply following the techniques can make the other person excited. If they do not actively cooperate due to emotional or physical reasons, they will have a strong sense of frustration. Moreover, when sexual performance replaces emotional sharing, the pressure of seeking can disrupt the intimate relationship between the two.

Among the actual elements of sexual behavior, mood is the most important. When a person is tired, irritable, or in a bad mood, the sensitivity of the neural regions that can stimulate sexual emotions will be greatly reduced. Therefore, sometimes superb techniques are not as effective as a good mood.