Post Date December, 03 2023
Hello! I am 26 years old and my marriage was arranged by my parents. In fact, my personal conditions are not bad, and I can also find a good girlfriend. However, my family is poor and there are no relatives or friends. There are many examples of my wife running away with others near us. My parents are very worried that the same thing will happen, so they insist on me agreeing to this marriage. My wife is old and ugly, five years older than me. I really want to pursue my own career, but she not only cannot help, but also obstructs me in every way, afraid that I will dump her if I succeed. I feel very painful with her, including my daily life and evening sex. In fact, I have a good chance of having sex outside, but I'm afraid he will know he's sad and never cheated. I have been trying to make myself like her, but it's difficult. What should I do?
Response from a psychologist:
Hello! I fully understand your current mood. Faced with a woman I don't love, for the sake of my parents, although I am not satisfied with my marriage, I still strive to maintain it. You are also a victim of arranged marriage, and I sympathize with your plight. If you are currently in a romantic phase, I suggest that you do not accept marriages arranged by your parents. For your own happiness, you can fight against them. But now that you are married, I suggest you have a good conversation with your wife. Tell her about your unhappiness and feelings, hoping she can understand and support you. Although there are significant differences in your understanding and she is not the woman you originally wanted, after a period of adjustment, perhaps both of you will have relative changes. After the change, she may give you a new feeling for her. There are actually many helplessness in life, and often the people we choose are not our favorite. Love is simple, only love is enough, but marriage is complex, only love is not enough, and it also requires joint efforts and management. If after trying hard, the marriage still remains the status quo, causing you unbearable pain, you can consider divorce.
