Post Date December, 03 2023
It has been said since ancient times that "when you marry a wife, you should marry a virtuous man". Ancient Chinese women were asked to be "good wives and good mothers". A good wife and mother is the highest praise for women. Of course, today's society is also full of good wives and good mothers. However, good wives and good mothers make her husband become "Mr. Milk Bottle". Of course, women have a great responsibility for the cultivation of "Mr. Bottle". So if a woman wants to be a true wife, she must learn to wean her husband.
There is infinite pressure in the halo of a good wife
A good wife and good mother is not only a beautiful halo, but also a great pressure behind this halo. Look at this example: in the circle of friends, I am a worthy wife and mother, but I don't want to carry such a halo anymore, because it is purely a pressure. My husband has never worked hard since he was laid off after marriage for 15 years. Sitting at home, he never touches the housework. It's no exaggeration. He won't help when the soy sauce bottle at home falls down. Sometimes they stay at home for a week, and often compete with their children at home for TV remote control. I am busy with business outside, and I hope he can share some of the things at home. But reading newspapers and listening to radio are his two favorite things. Doing housework and taking care of children seem to have nothing to do with him.
The bride is equal to the new "old lady"
The formation of Mr. Bottle is closely related to a good wife and good mother. As a wife, if you can get out of the hall, get into the kitchen, earn money, and don't get out of the house, it's really a man's blessing. On the other hand, such women are too maternal. Although it is said that it is not good to be a wife without motherhood, too strong motherhood will habituate the husband to be a son. Men are dependent, especially those who have a strong Oedipus complex will unconsciously choose a good wife and mother as their wife, or gradually train their wife into a psychological "mother" after marriage.
A good wife develops dependence on her husband
When the husband doesn't care about anything, and all the family affairs are on the wife's shoulders, the wife really should feel aggrieved. But we can make a hypothesis. If the husband before marriage is not such a person, he is a very responsible person who cares about children, works hard, and treats you well. But later he found that he did not need this. Why not? Because the wife often frustrates herself. For example, the wife will say that you can't do this well or that well, or the wife will simply do everything for herself. Gradually, the ability of the husband is weakened, and the role of the husband is also weakened, or men benefit from it, so they develop dependence.
Women are victims and "perpetrators"
According to the theory of causal cycle, women are not only "victims", but also "perpetrators". When psychology evaluates a relationship, it is often not linear, but circular causal, because the results are interactive. In marriage, the victims are often the perpetrators. So, on the surface, your husband has become a "bottle man" who can't move. But in fact, there may be your problem.
Women's inner "care and coercion"
Men are not weaned, and the marriage relationship that women grasp at home is the extreme of "strong women and weak men". It can be said that there is a word "abnormal". The "morbid" formation of the relationship for so many years may result from a "caring compulsion" in women's hearts. At first, you may be very self-confident in the love relationship. In order to maintain this relationship, you have taken on many responsibilities that should be borne by your husband. Gradually, he developed his husband's dependence, which made him "retrogressive" to the child psychologically. And you? Also immerse yourself in the "sense of need". With such long-term interdependence, you and your husband form a "symbiotic relationship", or "relationship addiction".
What should you do to help your husband "wean"
If you want to help your husband "wean" and completely save "Mr. Naiping", you need to do the following: First, you should pay attention to cultivating your husband's self-confidence and independence. We should make them understand that excessive dependence is not to deepen or consolidate the wife's love for themselves, but to weaken their attraction in front of their wives, and to destroy love; Secondly, we should help our husband "wean" and gradually reduce our caring for him. We should not be too capable. We should take care of all domestic and foreign affairs. We should give our husband more opportunities to share, separate the small things, and discuss the big things; Finally, when the husband shows enthusiasm for housework or social affairs, he should be encouraged to stimulate his feelings for men.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
