Post Date December, 03 2023
Another winter is coming. I wrap myself in a thick down jacket all day, and I only feel cold. In the morning, I was walking on the way to work, and there were small snowflakes floating in the air, which were still crystal clear and pure. But I will not like it as before, because it brings me only bitter memories.
That year, I was 25 years old. Like all girls of the same age, I reached the age of marriage. I look like a general, introverted and talkative. After graduation, I was arranged to teach in a primary school in the county. In addition to keeping in touch with a few good sisters, I have little contact with the opposite sex on weekdays. I am the kind of person who blushes when meeting boys. Seeing that winter is about to pass, I will be 26 years old after the new year. My parents are worried, and they constantly ask relatives and friends to introduce me. I met several people successively, but none of them was suitable. They were either short or with low education. I'm a bit discouraged and don't want to go on a blind date. Suddenly one day, my neighbor Aunt Wang came to my house, and as soon as she entered the door, she shouted, "Oh, Snow, her mother, I found a good marriage for Snow in your family." I heard that the boy was working in a city, named Wen Cheng, 28 years old this year. His family was in the countryside. His father died, and only his mother lived with him.
Aunt Wang took my mother's hand and said how good the boy was and how promising he would be in the future. Even if there is no house in the city, it doesn't matter. The key is the boy himself. My parents were persuaded that rural children can endure hardship, and it is very poor without father. So several people set a date for the meeting. A few days later, Wen Cheng and my parents met under the introduction of Aunt Wang. Under the introduction of Aunt Wang, I secretly looked at the person in front of me. He is tall, thin, handsome, and has big blue eyes. He nodded to me. My face turned red and I quickly lowered my head. My intuition tells me that I like the big boy in front of me. Next, parents of both sides should understand each other. Wen Cheng and I didn't say a word, but listened to our parents silently. It can be seen that Wen Cheng's mother is quite satisfied with my work. Although she is a rural woman, her words are shrewd everywhere.
A few days later, Wen Cheng asked me out for the first time. It was a snowy winter afternoon. I followed him shyly, and the feeling of happiness surrounded me. The snowflakes fell lightly from the air and stuck on his black hair and neat clothes. "The road is slippery, be careful." He turned to me and said, just like the plot in the movie. He first invited me to a restaurant for dinner, and then took me to a music teahouse where young people often go on dates. He was very careful. After I ordered a normal drink, he ordered some snack food that little girls like to eat. There is little talk between us, listening to romantic and soft music, and more silence. I stole a glance at Wen Cheng beside me. His eyes were still as blue as if he had something on his mind. He looked at the distance blankly. "Have you dealt with anyone before?" He broke his silence. "No." "Do you teach Chinese or math?" "Math." I'm very nervous. This is my first date. I only heard my heart beating. Then he took a taxi to take me home.
After that, we met again several times. To tell the truth, I don't know anything about him. I always thought that his melancholy had something to do with his personality. Or maybe he lost his father's reason. He probably also had a good feeling for me. Soon after, their family asked Aunt Wang to propose to my family, saying that he was very satisfied with me,
If I have no objection, I will get married on New Year's Day. I said, "It's too fast." Aunt Wang said, "Not fast, not fast. Men should marry, women should marry." In this way, under the supervision of both parents, Wen Cheng and I got married soon. Although I don't know much about Wen Cheng, many friends say that it is as good to marry before falling in love.
In the rented new house, I wash and cook for Wen Cheng, who has become my husband, and try to create a warm family atmosphere for him with my unskilled hands. I told myself that I must be a good wife. But Wen Cheng is busy almost every day and seldom comes home several times a month. When asked, I always said that the company was very busy. At first, I always felt aggrieved. Later, I began to think about it. It was rare for Wen Cheng to be so dedicated. I should support him and not drag him down. When Wen Cheng was away, I felt lonely and went back to my mother's house. I am usually busy at work. In my spare time, I shop, shop and chat with several girlfriends. The rest of the time is to look forward to the day when Wen Cheng comes home. It was not easy to expect Wen Cheng to go home. I carefully prepared his favorite food, but he always put down his bowl after not eating much. Without a greeting I expected, he dragged his tired body to sleep. I always think something is wrong. Is marriage like this? But once again, I thought it would be like this. He is so tired. What can I ask him for!
A few months later, I found out that I was pregnant! I called Wen Cheng in a hurry. I want to tell him the good news at the first time. "Oh, really?" Without the surprise I expected, he calmly listened to me and then said. "Are you unhappy?" I was angry. "No, no, I'm very happy." He quickly disguised. Wen Cheng's mother and my mother-in-law came to see me with a lot of local eggs immediately after hearing the news. She said to me, "Xiao Xue, make up for it. I will bring it to you when you give birth to a fat boy." Wen Cheng came home a few days ago and cared more about me than before. If I want to come now, it may just be his perfunctory. My pregnancy reaction is very serious. I can't eat anything and vomit as soon as I eat. My mother was so distressed that she took me to her house to take care of my life with three meals a day. But Wen Cheng is still so busy, there are not many calls, and the call is also a simple greeting. Every time I come to my house, I just eat a meal and leave. I don't want him to leave. I hope he can stay with me for a while, but he always says he is busy. Thanks to the careful care of my parents, I was able to go through the long days of pregnancy in October.
Ten months later, I gave birth. When I was in the delivery bed, Wen Chengcai arrived at the hospital. Unfortunately, I gave birth to a daughter, and my mother-in-law returned to the countryside on the second day of my birth. My mother loved me and took me back to her family. My daughter is very cute and has big bright eyes, which combines all the advantages of Wen Cheng and me. Wen Cheng stayed with my daughter and me for a few days, and then he was busy leaving. However, I don't feel lonely at all. My daughter is very good. She eats and sleeps all day and seldom cries. My mother is busy in and out. She is devoted to taking care of our mother's life. My daughter soon became full moon, and my body recovered. The weather is getting hot day by day, and I haven't returned to my own home for a long time. One evening, while my daughter was asleep, I got up and went home to find some clothes for spring.
At the moment when I opened the door, I was shocked. A strange woman hugged Wen Cheng and slept! They sat up in panic when they heard the door open. My mind was blank, tears immediately blurred my eyes, and I ran out regardless of everything. "Why? Why?" I kept asking myself in my heart. "You want to die!" A taxi pulled up in front of me, and the driver scolded rudely. But I can't manage so much. I ran forward aimlessly.
I longed for Wen Cheng to come out to me and explain everything to me, but I didn't. I don't know when I just walked back to my parents' house step by step. The daughter has already woken up and her mother is feeding her. I sat on the sofa, my tears could not stop flowing down. After listening to my cry, my father angrily pulled me and said, "Go, find that bastard!" "At midnight, wait until dawn." My mother persuaded my father. How hard the night was! I tossed and turned, unable to sleep, and the scenes of the past came to me. What a wonderful marriage I once dreamed of, it broke like a soap bubble in an instant. My husband is such a beast! Don't he love me? Why marry me if you don't love me?
I haven't thought about tea and rice for several days, and I'm too lazy to take a look at my daughter. Parents are even more anxious. They can't find Wen Cheng everywhere. A few days later, I received a call from Wen Cheng, who said that he only wanted to talk with me alone. Wen Cheng and I met in the house that once belonged to us. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was messy, but there was no regret I imagined. He told me the story between him and the woman in pain. It turned out that he and the woman named Yu Yan were high school classmates, both from remote rural areas. The same situation brought them together, and they fell in love. Before long, Yu Yan dropped out of school because of her poor family, while Wen Cheng was admitted to college a year later. Unfortunately, Wen Cheng's father fell ill because of overwork at that time, and soon died. Wen Cheng can no longer continue his studies. His fate can be imagined. At that time, Yuyan appeared, and said to Wen Cheng, "I will pay you to go to college!" Yuyan worked in a hair salon at that time. In order for Wen Cheng to study well, she was frugal and suffered a lot. In this way, with the help of Yu Yan, Wen Cheng successfully finished college and was assigned to his current unit. After work, Wen Cheng decided to marry his beloved Yuyan, but his mother strongly disagreed. She hoped that Wen Cheng could find a city girl with a job to marry, so that the family would no longer be poor. If Wen Cheng dares to marry Yu Yan, she will die! Wen Cheng has been wandering on the edge of love and family, while Yu Yan has never married for him. Until he met me, he finally agreed to marry me with her mother's bitter plea, but he still loved Yuyan deeply in his heart. What he gave me was only a formal marriage. Wen Cheng knelt before me and begged me to forgive him. "Liar, you shameful liar! What do you think of me?" I hit Wen Cheng with all my strength. "Fight, fight, as long as you can forgive me!" Wen Cheng knelt there, motionless. "Snow, just let me go and let me stay with my loved ones!" What else can I say? I walked out of the place that made me miserable.
Soon after, Wen Cheng's mother came to take my daughter away from the countryside, but Wen Cheng never showed up again. For more than half a year, I have been living in pain every day. This sad marriage has brought me too much harm! I filed a divorce lawsuit in court. However, due to our carelessness at that time, we did not apply for a marriage certificate. My marriage with Wen Cheng was not protected by law and was illegal cohabitation. The court did not accept it. This may also be a trap deliberately arranged by Wen Cheng.
The snowflakes are floating, and my world is cold.
(Intern editor: Cai Junyi)
