Post Date December, 03 2023
Malkin believes that being cheated by our partner can cause us deep pain. The simplest and most prosaic words and actions of our partner seem to be full of subtext: Does she want to sweep me out of the house? What does he mean by "meeting a friend"? Having been unfaithful makes it difficult for you to see things as normal, and everything feels wrong.
Even if the other person is not unfaithful, we often feel insecure: Are we still outstanding? Will a partner find someone better? Serious loss of control over emotional security can lead to a result of desperate efforts to regain a sense of control, which is the cause of jealousy. Jealousy can be addictive and only make you feel increasingly insecure. Markin proposes four suggestions to eliminate jealousy:
Admit jealousy. Please share your jealousy with your partner, but don't accuse the other person, and clearly state your request: "I feel a bit insecure. If we make an appointment to meet later, I will feel better." Requesting specific actions can make you feel safe, such as making an appointment to call each other several times a day to tell each other how things are going today. The more connections, the less jealousy.
2. Adjust the pressure. Jealousy is a stress reaction that can intensify when you are anxious. Use appropriate exercise, balanced diet, and social support to regulate your emotions.
3. Seek affirmation. When talking to your partner, use declarative sentences with "I" as the subject, such as: "I feel a bit jealous of the time you spent with her. Can you talk about your relationship?" Rather than angrily accusing or ignoring the other person, it's better to explain the situation directly.
4. Define the bottom line. If you keep asking your partner who they are with, your relationship is already on the red light. If there is nothing that cannot be seen, the other party should regularly take the initiative to inform you. You don't need to ask frequently. "If you are constantly in a state of anxiety, and no matter what the other person says, it cannot reassure you, which means that you may not be suitable and may want to consider breaking up.".
