Post Date December, 03 2023
Since the late 1970s, China's divorce rate has continued to rise. It is not easy for modern people to maintain a marriage, let alone a long and happy marriage. I have been married to my wife Meizhen for 28 years. Although our marriage is not smooth, it is full of peace and joy. The most important experience of our happy life is "commitment". Without "commitment", there will be no really good marriage.
Commit to the first place
Lu Yishi, a British thinker and writer, said very well: "We all have a clear understanding of our duties and responsibilities. We don't need to teach each other one by one, just remind them." This is especially true of marriage. As long as we make clear a few principles, and then faithfully abide by them, the results will not be too outrageous.
Many modern industries are highly competitive and under great pressure. Every day, it is like fighting to death on the battlefield. In the long run, not only you are exhausted, but also your family will suffer. How to avoid letting work pressure affect family life?
The focus is on "commitment". In the first two or three years of my marriage, Meizhen often came to the company to meet me for lunch. After the baby is born, she will also bring the baby and bento to the park near the company to get together with her family. The two of us often put down our chopsticks after dinner and walked around the community for 20 minutes hand in hand. I need to talk with customers or arrange business trips. I always try to stagger my family's birthdays or children's important programs. Because the children's childhood is gone forever, the growth of love between the couple needs to be cultivated patiently.
In any case, you should try to seize the opportunity to establish a relationship with your family. Occasionally, it is a good idea to leave home chores and go on an outing on weekends.
Treat each other with sincerity
In the long marriage life, both husband and wife will continue to grow, and their ideas may change. So we must always communicate with each other. We cannot assume that the other party is proficient in everything and can see through me at a glance. When you are free, you may as well sit down together and talk about your dreams, wishes and new milestones in life.
If your daily topics are mainly about company profits and losses, financial trends, political trends, etc., in the long run, there will be many undercurrents and heartache in the family until the relationship is gradually alienated. According to statistics, the conscious conversation between many couples takes only 37 minutes on average out of 10080 minutes a week, and most of them talk about irrelevant topics. For example, "Why is there only one sock left?" "Is dinner ready?" and so on.
"Listening" is a very important communication skill, but it is often ignored by us. Men are not used to sharing feelings. They need to be encouraged to become accustomed to nature. In the cognitive system of men and women, the meaning of the same word is often different from each other, which is easy to cause misunderstandings. All these should be handled carefully.
I used to have a colleague, Lao Cao, who likes to greet and chat with customers on his mobile phone while driving. However, his wife was greatly displeased and thought it was too dangerous not to concentrate on driving.
The result of the discussion between the two people decided that Lao Cao could only call when his wife was in the car. When Lao Cao called, he changed his wife to drive. Through such communication, not only can Lao Cao finish the work of the company easily, but also the wife has a sense of achievement because of helping her husband, and the feeling of gratitude and love for each other arises spontaneously.
The communication between husband and wife is good, from easy talking and laughing to sharing the depression and worry in the heart, which can make both of them on the same channel without being out of touch.
Be loyal to each other
If your job is a doctor, lawyer, or management position, it is easy to become the object of worship of others. If you don't pay attention to it, you will lose yourself in power, money, and gender relations.
A woman said to me, "When I first got married, no one ever told me that marriage needs protection and affection needs cultivation. I never attended a seminar to improve the quality of marriage, or read any book about 'maintaining marriage with love'." Her current situation is not optimistic. Both husband and wife have had extramarital affairs one after another, and they want to be reunited later, but how easy is it to recover the lost sense of trust? I have seen too many such cases. For the sake of the temptation of the moment, the marriage has been ruined and the wife and children have been injured.
Physical health needs moderate exercise, adequate rest and balanced nutrition to maintain. The same is true for the growth of marriage relationship. Only when two people cultivate the seedlings of love, carefully water and care, seek the support of other partners, and face problems without hesitation, can they succeed.
Integration of spirit and flesh
Finally, I want to put forward the coordination of human life between husband and wife. Many people who are busy with work have this experience: after a whole day of fighting in the jungle of human nature, they have exhausted their energy when they come home, and sometimes they can't even speak up, let alone talk about sex life. But do you know? Sex life is a part of the whole marriage and the ultimate expression of love and self-sacrifice between husband and wife. Their confidence and self-esteem are often re-established in a complete sex life.
Occasionally, under special circumstances, the sexual life of the husband and wife is not as good as ideal, and we need to ask for the understanding of the other party. However, the lack of skin relatives for a long time will make the marriage life face the crisis of disintegration. On the other hand, the more stable the couple's emotions are, the more mellow the boudoir will be.
Love each other sincerely
In short, don't let your spouse be slightly suspicious of your exclusive love and care. Always keep communication in mind and concept, and sincerely show acceptance of each other in the contact of skin.
