Post Date December, 02 2023
The more you want to be perfect, the more you see your imperfections. The more you want to prove yourself right, the more you see yourself making mistakes everywhere.
Your emotions require you to learn to soothe and take care of them
I thought it would be great if life could be smooth sailing and fulfilled according to one's own expectations and desires. All problems should be resolved. But I also know it's impossible. The older you get, the more you feel that there are fewer things you can master, everything is full of uncertainty, and many situations in life are constantly changing. Sometimes, the more I try to control everything as I expect, the more I often feel confused. The harder one always lives, the more powerless one becomes.
Sometimes, it's really difficult not to be discouraged, and one may wonder if there are any moments of peace of mind and stability?
Why is the path of life so difficult?
What exactly should I do to truly completely relieve my sense of depression and constantly doubt whether I am right or wrong? Dear, I understand the frustration and inner turmoil. The more you always want to get rid of something, the harder it becomes to get rid of something.
The more you want to get rid of it, the more you feel bound. The more you want to climb, the more you feel like there is no end to falling. The more you want to be perfect, the more you see your imperfections. The more you want to prove yourself right, the more you see yourself making mistakes everywhere. You know what? You cannot get rid of the emotional entanglement, because you are too eager to change; Want to become more satisfying and praised; Want to become enviable and positive; I want to become less critical and negative. If you can stop expecting and demanding from yourself and others, give up the perfect attachment that you may lose elasticity at any time, accept the phenomenon of the current situation, and accept your own presentation, then peace will naturally come.
Your chaotic emotions, the lack of positive emotional experiences from your childhood, worry, helplessness, fear, and feelings of loneliness, make you constantly endure the intrusion of massive emotions. Emotions, for you, are like storms or tsunamis, always sweeping you, leaving you unable to move and at your mercy.
You don't expect anyone to discover your helplessness and fear.
Adults are too busy, there are always endless reasons to put you in the final consideration. You are like an object that can only be left to be displayed by adults. It seems that as long as there is a place to place you, it's okay. The rest of your feelings, thoughts, needs, and desires are not important or worth considering.
So, you need to stop being a child on your own. The state of a child is too helpless and insignificant. If you force yourself to grow up quickly, you can act on your own and not rely on anyone to survive.
A child, of course, longs for someone to rely on, protect, and care for in their heart, but we can never expect it. We will make our hearts cold, eliminate the flame of desire, so that we no longer expect it, nor need to be disappointed. In the end, no matter what happens to oneself, there is no longer any feeling, only numbness.
However, even though we long for time to go faster, so that we can grow up faster, faster, faster, and always hope for the future to come, the result is that our physical appearance is growing up, but our inner depths are always blocked by a child who endures loneliness, helplessness, fear, and setbacks.
Every painful emotion has a need to be understood
Regarding your childhood, except for the automatic emergence of fear and helpless emotional reactions, all other memories are just blank.
The process of growth brings harm through getting to know and getting close to people. Countless setbacks and scares have been encountered during the process of growth, and it is difficult to explain the beginning and end of each setback and fear. But the emotional feelings are just unable to get rid of, constantly stirring and bothering you.
Emotional feelings accumulate over time. Once upon a time, individual, small, and incomplete emotional sensations were connected into a solid and difficult to change feeling, forming your own perception of yourself and explanations for similar situations.
At the same time, it will also become a button for negative emotions, as long as there is stimulation, that destructive and explosive emotion will be triggered instantly. When emotions rumble and explode, all the processes make people unconscious and unable to perceive what actually happened during the process. People, with only the ability to react and think automatically, are left behind for a hundred thousand miles.
The so-called negative emotions are defined and referred to, and do not mean that negative emotions are equal to errors or should not exist. Anger, sadness, helplessness, and vulnerability are all inevitable emotional experiences in life.
Life has joys and sorrows, ups and downs. God not only gives us laughter, but also tears. If there should only be laughter in life, then the tears that release human pain do not need to exist. In the past, we criticized negative emotions too much, and too many people were afraid of carrying any negative factors, which would lead to people's disgust and contempt. Many times, our pain also comes from this and we are unwilling to admit that we also have real emotions. We don't want people to see our fragile and negative side, and we always have to put in a lot of effort to deny that we have this part, striving to get rid of these negative feelings that undermine self-esteem and value.
In fact, we are afraid of not being respected, afraid of being excluded, and not worthy of people's love.
Many people are afraid of negative emotions and put in a lot of effort to get rid of these feelings because they cannot accept them. They deeply dislike these fragile and incompetent feelings in their hearts, so they inflate themselves and use exaggerated strong posture to criticize and criticize the small and vulnerable people around them, in order to consolidate their image of ability and superiority.
In this way, he will feel less uncomfortable and feel that his life is not without merit. But I want to tell you that being able to coexist with negative emotions, be able to accept one's own dark side, and be able to tolerate the low tide of one's life is an ability; A very important ability. This ability is more important than convincing oneself to always be optimistic and positive in life.
Because there are too many uncertain moments in life, you cannot control what should and should not happen, and you cannot always have a clear understanding of what you should and can do. These situations will create many negative and uncertain feelings for you.
Negative emotions and positive emotions are both feedback messages from the environment after interacting with us as individuals, in order to tell us how the interaction is progressing? Or do we need to adjust anything? Enhance what? Maintain what? There is also a need to be understood or heard.
Especially painful and uneasy emotions, they need to be understood, listened to, and connected during the dialogue process. After being understood, listened to, and connected, our emotions can be regulated, no longer tense or trapped in the chest, unable to release.
