Post Date December, 03 2023
You said, you don't love growing flowers because you're afraid of seeing petals and falling one by one. Yes, in order to avoid the end of everything, you avoided all the beginning. "When she saw this sentence, she cried. Over the years, in order to avoid ending, she has refused too many beginnings.
Taking off her mask of disguise and facing her true self, she had to admit that her true self was an extremely inferiority complex. She is afraid of challenging the unknown, facing unfamiliar things, losing narrow self-esteem, and experiencing failure alone. So for a long time, she curled up in her own world like a weak kitten, seeking comfort and maintaining that sense of security.
In the year of college entrance examination, she performed abnormally and her grades were four to five tenths lower than usual. She was not satisfied with such a result, but when faced with the question of whether to repeat or not, she firmly refused to repeat. She pretended to be relaxed and said to the people around her, "It's okay, it's the same where you go to college. Looking for a job now is not just about the reputation of your graduation institution." She said this, and others also believed it. In fact, she cried several times behind her back, shedding tears for her failures and for her cowardice. She is really afraid, afraid that after repeating, she will malfunction again. At that time, where should her proud self-esteem be placed?
At the age of 18, she went to an unfamiliar distance without hesitation, attending an unknown university or a major she didn't like. When filling out their applications, many people are puzzled: "Gee, you love English so much, why don't you study English major?" She said, "English is now an auxiliary major, it doesn't matter whether you read or not. While learning other majors, you can also learn English on your own." This explanation sounds just right, but no one knows, she is actually afraid of failure. To take the language major, one must pass the oral test. If they fail, their only dignity will become worthless.
Because she was afraid of failure, she ran away from her destination and gradually drifted away.
At the age of 20, she once again chose to escape. This escape left an irreparable regret in her heart.
She has fallen in love with a boy who is outgoing, sunny, handsome, ambitious, and has been planning for her future life since the beginning of her freshman year. Every time she gets along with him, she feels that her whole body is filled with positive energy. It is the aura emanating from him that infects her, giving her a desire to become better.
She really wants to be with him, making every day in the future bright and dazzling. But she dare not say that sentence, she is afraid! I am afraid that I may not be beautiful enough to be worthy of the tall and handsome man, and when standing with him, I cannot match the words' perfect match '; I am afraid that my family is poor and I cannot integrate into him and his privileged family. She thought that when she became good enough, she might be able to confess her feelings.
In Pride and Prejudice, it is said: "Burying emotions too deep can sometimes be a bad thing. If a woman conceals her feelings for the man she loves, she may miss the opportunity to have him
Sometimes missing a moment means missing a lifetime. Love was not caught at the time, and then there was only regret. No one will always be waiting for you in the same place. When she graduated with a glamorous and decent job and felt excellent enough, she had already crossed the ocean and found her true love on the other end of the sea.
Oh, she mocks her cowardice and foolishness, he never knows his thoughts, how could he think of spending the rest of his life with him? Although I am now better than before, what if I lose him and win the world? Until now, he was just his dearest passerby.
As she grew older day by day, suddenly one day, she felt like she had lost interest in life. In the past years, I have missed too many personnel that I wanted but dared not strive for. The trajectory of life is vastly different from the ideal appearance, leaving behind too much regret.
Escape because of fear; Because of avoidance, so lose. Perhaps it was against one's wishes that one did something they didn't want to do; Perhaps it's hiding the deep emotions in my heart and missing out on the person I love the most; Perhaps it was the fear of change that led to a muddle through, indulging in life... After a long time, looking back, I found that life had completely changed. The starting point at the time of departure was no longer on the same track as now. When did all this change? It was so unconscious.
Actually, what are you afraid of? The biggest pain in life is not failure, but not experiencing everything you want to experience. Some things have been tried and worked hard, even if the expected results have not been achieved, I can honestly say that I have really tried my best.
Author Wu Shuxin put it well: "Don't be afraid to have because you are afraid of losing; otherwise, you will lose your life. Similarly, don't worry about losing something because you have it, otherwise you will lose yourself
Think about it, the caterpillar wraps itself in thousands of threads, from deep sleep to early awakening, opening its eyes, and endless darkness fills the entire world. Without bright sunshine, without tender green leaves, one cannot see the flowers of spring and the fruits of autumn, nor the blue grass and sky. The pain of transformation is burning through its body, as it tries to break free from the dark cage and the shackles of its soul. It uses its soft head to repeatedly collide with thick silkworm pupae, once, twice, a hundred, a thousand times. Through constant experimentation, it becomes powerful, eventually breaking free from the cocoon and dancing gracefully.
Don't refuse all beginnings just because you are afraid of the end, no one will know what you will face tomorrow. If you want to break the cocoon and become a butterfly, you must bravely try. Everyone grows through trying, without exception.
