Post Date December, 03 2023
There are few couples who have never had conflicts and disputes. Friction in marriage is inevitable. This kind of slight quarrel can promote the feelings of the couple, but the quarrel cannot exceed the bottom line. Otherwise, the conflict between the two sides will change from slight friction to hatred and hostility, and the harmonious marriage will be affected.
Couples must not take quarreling as a habit. A long time of quarreling will cause physical and mental damage and fatigue to each other, and will lose good feelings for marriage, thus affecting the quality of marriage, and eventually even pushing the marriage to the edge of rupture. Therefore, if you quarrel, you need to master some principles, that is, some untouchable "bottom lines".
The bottom line that cannot be exceeded when couples have conflicts
First, don't attack each other's "soft side" when they quarrel. Everyone has his own weakness, and his lover is not the enemy. When fighting, he can only be "right about things and wrong about people", and can not be aggressive, let alone take "exposing" as a means to vent his anger, otherwise minor contradictions may become hostile.
Second, the quarrel should be targeted and not involve other matters. Some couples always escalate minor matters. When quarreling, they tend to expand their goals and take out all the "old and new hatred". Often this will go beyond the scope of quarrels, and easily promote the establishment of a clear situation between ourselves and the enemy, which will lead to feelings cracks.
Third, don't quarrel if you are not conscious. When people are not conscious, they tend to do impulsive things, such as drinking, feeling extremely depressed, being hit, and so on. If there are contradictions at this moment, even in the face of a lover, they may also be regarded as "enemies", and even violence may occur. So don't fight in this situation.
Fourth, don't fight when you quarrel. The quarrel between husband and wife is beneficial to the reconciliation of feelings, but the fight by hand does not have this effect, and instead leads to the end of feelings. Therefore, we should never do anything to stop quarreling.
Fifth, there should be no winning or losing mentality in a quarrel. Contradictions in marriage cannot be judged by "victory or defeat". If it is used as a tool to measure family status, quarrels will not promote feelings, but will make couples "draw a line" and lead to confrontation.
Sixth, do not "punish" the other party by separation or running away. After many couples quarrel, one party will "punish" the other party by running away from home or living separately. Such childish behavior will not be compromised by the lover, but will only deepen the separation between the two, and even lead to a cold war, which is more likely to trigger a new crisis.
(Intern editor: Lai Jiaxing)
