Post Date December, 03 2023
Because of their profession, they are often asked by students (visitors), readers, and friends around them: how many times do people fall in love now? After marriage, there are problems such as keeping lovers, cheating, one night stands, and four corner relationships (couples have lovers outside of marriage). The divorce demography is also generally rising. Why is the current social climate so bad, and marriage problems emerge in endlessly? From my perspective, the reasons for this situation are as follows:
Moral values have generally declined: from the numerous accusations that infidelity can cause in society to the common practice of today, from the bad behavior of taking care of lovers as vulgar businessmen to identity symbols, from the symbol of good qualities of exclusivity to the pride of having multiple friends of the opposite sex, it must be said that the cost of the material age is the decline of people's moral sense. When everything is measured by material standards, What power does an empty heart have to distinguish right from wrong and resist temptation? When many people are making the same mistake, the mistake will no longer be a mistake, but will evolve into a new behavioral indicator.
The change in values: from the concealment of divorce and fear of letting people know about its impact on reputation to the celebration of banquets, the once shameful divorce behavior is now seen as a manifestation of valuing the quality of life and pursuing a new life. Although it is true to a certain extent that people no longer compromise and struggle to maintain a marriage until it turns gray due to the consideration of reputation, on the other hand, due to the lack of concern, they lack the necessary rescue and perseverance. Giving up too easily also makes many marriages that are not originally mismatched easily broken. This is like if humans can replicate, doctors and patients themselves will easily give up treatment and choose to extract cells to create a brand new organism, inevitably leading to a situation where terminal illnesses are abandoned and colds and fever are also abandoned.
A relatively equal society and convenient interpersonal relationships provide people with a breeding ground for extramarital emotions: in ancient times, women were raised in deep water all day long, only to meet their husbands on the night of their wedding, and after marriage, they had to hide in their families. They rarely saw a few men in their lifetime, so how could they have the opportunity to cheat? If a man likes it, he will have three wives and four concubines. Why should he cheat? Recently, twenty years ago, men and women were not close to each other. Although free love had been promoted, people still had a strong sense of shame. The reputation of both men and women was a very important character symbol, and people cherished it and did not easily destroy it. Furthermore, in the past, people only had the opportunity to get to know the opposite sex through letters and fixed phone numbers, and the opportunities to meet or engage in activities with a large number of opposite sex were also rare, resulting in fewer opportunities for emotional turmoil. In today's society, telephone, mobile phone, online contact tools, dating activities, entertainment activities... Whether you are conscious or unconscious, you will come into contact with a large number of opposite sex, and human nature is greedy for novelty, and people cannot compare with others. Husbands or wives are already excellent enough, and there are even better ones among them, which can accidentally cause electric shock.
The number of only children is increasing, and people's personalities are becoming increasingly detrimental to interpersonal relationships: Family planning has reduced the population of China to a certain extent, but it also invisibly prevents many children from obtaining a normal growth environment. Rare things are precious, and children are even more so because there is only one treasure, and the energy of parents and grandparents is fully focused on this treasure, naturally spoiling and indulging them. Even if there is a rational and scientific role in a family, I am also unable to confront everyone. So, as these children grow up into adults, it is inevitable that their personalities will be self reliant, capricious, and unkind to others. One child is the treasure of everyone, and when two little emperors come together, they will naturally collide and create intense sparks... A couple who values themselves only, as well as their mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship, complex family interpersonal relationships, and social pressure, and an only child who lacks resilience and personality, are more likely to give up their marriage due to excessive love for themselves, or to arbitrarily say that they, who have carried too much love since childhood, have not yet learned how to love others.
