Post Date December, 03 2023
In some marriages and relationships, the emotions of young men begin to decline from the day they get married. He trembled nervously, showing anxiety and confusion, and therefore desperately wanted to escape reality.
Someone will tell a young man who is about to become a groom that the fear before getting married is normal, and one should be mentally prepared and strive to overcome it. Family and friends may give a vague explanation of their inner thoughts and activities that can lead to guilt, such as: "You are afraid of approaching women and taking on responsibilities." "You are unwilling to take on the burden of life." "You are unwilling to give up your personal freedom." "You are an immature expression.". Then they will comfort him and say, 'You will definitely overcome these fears and doubts, and you will gradually mature in the process of overcoming them.'.
The word 'fear' that leads to guilt is often used to explain men's resistance and negative emotions. It is like a banner or a call to battle, successfully inspiring men to bravely accept severe tests, overcome difficulties, and show their perseverance. He suppressed his secret and genuine emotional needs in this way. From then on, when he tried to overcome the strong reactions caused by fear and resistance, he not only achieved nothing, but also left hidden dangers for the breakdown of his marriage relationship. When the marital relationship is on the brink of collapse and has actually reached an irreversible point, these suppressed resistance emotions will flood the floodgates of emotions. Only then did he recall his past emotions and realize the true reason for his resistance at the time. However, before this, most of his energy was spent on suppressing, overcoming his dissatisfaction, and rationalizing it.
Just as he disregarded the call of his inner emotions on his wedding day, he continued to ignore his true emotions in order to maintain his marital relationship. When he feels upset, he will endure it and let it go. When he has no desire for sex, he may be panicked and begin to doubt whether his sexual function is normal, while striving to overcome his "lack of desire". Sometimes after work, I don't want to go home, but in order to fulfill my husband's responsibility, I have to reluctantly go back, even if I feel unhappy, listless, and silent when I get home. During the day, even if he was unwilling, he had to call his wife from the office because he felt that she had this request. On weekends, he has to cook, run errands, fix things, and then sit passively in front of the TV, striving to play the role of a competent husband and father. When he and his wife are socializing with other couples, he has to play the role of a hospitable host or a likeable guest, but in reality, he has no interest in it.
