Post Date December, 03 2023
After the divorce, I met a divorced single woman who worked in the People's Hospital in our small city, and the work was pretty good. After a period of contact, I felt that she loved me very much. She bought clothes for me, bought clothes and bought clothes for me. She was very particular about hygiene, kept the house in order, and cooked delicious food. She also told me about her previous love experience, and there was no concealment from me. There were three men before her first marriage, and two men in the five years since her divorce. The first one she talked about after three years of divorce was the type she liked, but the other party got married after another three months. After talking with this man for a month, I felt that it could not destroy the happiness of others, so I stopped contacting with that man, Of course, I cohabited with this man.
After stopping for more than a year, the second person we talked about was not in the same city as us. The man divorced but still did not leave. He lived together intermittently for three months. Finally, the man said that he could not divorce. Then she split up with the man and felt cheated by others. The man gave her 20000 yuan while talking and she also returned it to the man. In her words, I was talking about feelings, It's not selling his body. Since he's sorry for me, such a man is not worth my tears and I won't spend his money. We have known each other half a year since we separated from this man. I can also feel that she will not do anything wrong to me or give me a green hat. She can let go of the past and has no feelings for any man.
Besides, she doesn't care about money. She doesn't like people who have money, houses and cars introduced to her. She says she wants to marry a man who is good to her. She wants to live a simple life and doesn't want to live a rich life. I am penniless and her family condition is very good. If I marry her and the house is decorated by her family, her family will also help me pay off the debts I owe after the divorce. She said that she would like to stay with me only because I am a good person, and nothing else will do for me.
But as I have been in touch with her for a long time, I gradually found that she is very poor at living and spends money freely. When she has money in her hand, she wants to buy this and that. She doesn't want to save the money, so that she can use it in case of any emergency in the future. She said that this is because her family conditions are better. Her parents used to her, and she has formed this habit. It is difficult to change now, and she will work harder in the future. But I feel that is the case, and she can hardly do it.
Moreover, she has a wide circle of friends and has a lot of meals. She often drinks. Today, half a kilogram of Baijiu will be four or five bottles of beer tomorrow. I think her memory is very poor. She should drink. Which man is willing to let his woman drink so much wine every day? I said she would say that I never drink alone with other men, I would not drink too much, I would not be drunk crazy, and I would be thirsty and make trouble. In addition, if she is in a bad mood, she will go to drink and persuade her not to drink so much. She will say, "What can I do except drink?"? I don't have to think so much about sleeping when I drink too much.
What should I do? Continue to associate with her, or separate from her. Divide it. She is so good to me. I have nothing, no room, no car. She is willing to marry me and live with me. Don't divide it. Living with her feels bottomless. She likes to drink but can't live. What should I do?
reply:
As a friend, it is right to be cautious about the next relationship, especially after a failed marriage. Choose a lifelong partner, whether in terms of temperament, conduct, life habits or mutual conditions, it is better not to differ too much. Of course, within the scope of mutual acceptance, it is not impossible to complement each other.
As for the two problems bothering you, I think so:
First, you don't accept that she is not very good at living, is more extravagant, and lacks financial awareness and saving habits. This is really related to the family background environment. To change her habit, it needs to give her some time, and there must be a transition process. Moreover, people's economic conditions are superior, and it is not a big problem to pay attention to the concept of consumption. Of course, living together, if she is always extravagant and doesn't make much money, it will be a different matter.
Second, you can't stand her drinking often. A woman who doesn't drink often for necessary entertainment is not very pleasant. However, I think you should carefully understand whether she often drinks out of interest or to relieve her inner distress. I guess she may still be more likely to use wine to relieve her mood. If a woman is addicted to alcohol and is an alcoholic, it must be very worrying to marry such a woman. If she is in a bad mood or has something on her mind, it is another matter to drink to relieve her worries. It is recommended that you find a time to sit down and have a good chat, talk about her heart, understand her real state, and then make a decision.
In short, no one is perfect. After all, it is not easy to meet a person who really likes you in the vast crowd. Since she is very kind to you, it means that she still cares about you. You should cherish it well. If you have fate, you will come together. If she really loves you, she will also make changes for you.
