Post Date December, 03 2023
I have been in love with her for four years and married her for four years. She liked me very much when I was in love. I was absent-minded about her. Later, I was also half-hearted, so I married her. Because I am playful, I often have gossip when I get married, often quarrel and beat her. My child was born in 2011.
We had a divorce in 2013 and she sued. Later, I found people to mediate for many times. I begged every day and finally agreed to forgive me. After I went home, I still didn't change much. Because this time, everyone was unfamiliar and had less communication. She also reluctantly lived for her children. She made a lot of noise all day. I also often pulled her hair and other things. I was very excited and cursed.
In 2015, she ran away from home one day and never came back. The court sued again for divorce. The court did not decide, and she continued to drag around like this. During this time, she missed the child, and was generally coaxed back by me once or twice a month. Her attitude never answered the phone, until she could meet and eat together, until she could barely go home for a few days, and she has been making progress.
However, I am impatient and always urge her to go home. Every time she comes back, she is said to be very tired by me. After leaving, I turn off the phone and turn it on again a few days later. I continue to pester. So, until a few days ago, she was repeatedly coaxed by me to come over for three days, and then asked for divorce and quarrels. I pulled her hair, and then coaxed her again. She said that she didn't want to be entangled in this way anymore, for fear that I would control her, and even more afraid that I would hit her. She wanted to be free and live herself, so she left and never turned on again.
Teacher, can my marriage be saved? What should I am going to do? Why can she live with me, or is she unwilling to live with me?
reply:
1. If it were me, I would also be tortured by you and run away from home, and I would never contact you again. Think carefully, do you have enough love, care and respect for your wife during the four years of marriage? You just brought her sadness and helplessness. You are playful, hitting people and living a disorderly life. Which woman can tolerate you treating her like this?
2. You know that in the love stage, she loves you more than you love her, but you don't cherish her well, but instead give her all kinds of injuries in return. If you didn't love this woman enough at the beginning, why should you force yourself and grievance yourself? Don't you know that it is difficult to harvest happiness in the end of those marriages?
3. Marriage needs a minimum of respect, otherwise, if the other party feels cold again and again, it will only lead to the destruction of this marriage. What is your purpose of torturing and torturing your wife every time? Do you not love her at all, or are you dissatisfied with your current marriage to vent your negative emotions?
4. Do you think your marriage can be saved? How bad you have done in these years, you will not be unclear. Don't you know what to do now? Change your past bad behavior, give her more love and respect, and give her the warmth and security she wants. In the final analysis, you should treat her sincerely, which is more important than anything. The other party is a living person, not your private property. You must know this. To love, please love deeply. If not, please let go.
