After blind marriage, my marriage is not happy. Meeting my former lover makes me want to divorce

I just met my husband in 2006 and went home with him half a year after I contacted him by telephone. I didn't know each other at that time and had my first son. My parents-in-law is not good to me. I can not take it seriously. I take full advantage of everything at birth. Like ordinary people, I ate eggs for a full month and lost 30 kg.

I found many shortcomings in him when I really got along with him. He is not my type at all. He is rude and uncivilized. He talks like quarrelling with others. He never pays attention to me when crossing the road. They never help with housework. As long as they are in a bad mood, they will bite their teeth and slap their children's faces, ears and heads, and wear shoes to kick, which is not like treating their children at all.

Before marriage, everything is dressed up. I thought about leaving directly. It's all because I can't bear to part with my children. If I think of pity, I will pass. After that, he went out to work as an electrician. I took care of my children at home. After living apart for 5 or 6 years, I didn't make such a big noise.

In 2012, we did a little business and lived together, and the children also came. Then all kinds of noise became more intense. He usually gives me a black face when he has nothing to do. He is always angry with me. He is too irritable. I am also a bad character. I quarreled for divorce last year. I feel that I have no feelings for him or even dislike him.

Until May this year, a cousin of my village came to my house to play. There was no blood relationship but the same family name. When we were 18 and 19 years old, we liked each other very much. It was just because of the same family name that our families didn't agree. He accidentally died a son at the end of last year, and then wanted to come to me to play, relax and live here. He was in a low mood every day, and I began to enlighten him. Slowly, I began to realize that I still loved him, and he also loved me. Last year he also divorced his wife. Now I always think of my cousin. I hate my husband and resist him. I'm only 31 years old now, and there are still many decades left. I don't want to go on like this. The idea of divorce is more intense. What should I do?

reply:

Because the blind and random choice of marriage at the beginning led to unhappiness after marriage, you should deeply reflect on your overly abrupt attitude towards marriage and love.

As far as you can tell, your existing marriage is of little significance, because you can feel that you are tired of your marriage in addition to complaining. The couple has been separated for five or six years, and the marriage has become a form. A virtual marriage is nothing more than a suffocating grave. The only reason why you don't make up your mind to divorce is because of the children. This is also a common excuse for most unhappy people who want to leave and can't leave.

In this regard, I often advise the parties concerned: it is not wise to use children to bind their marriage and happiness. As a besieged person, you should face the reality objectively and calmly. If you are sure that you have a dead heart for the other party, you no longer have nostalgia for marriage, and even want to let yourself escape from it at any time, then if you have the conditions and courage to divorce, go away and don't hurt yourself again. Whether you are young or old, you should live for yourself responsibly.

You have a strong idea of divorce, especially after meeting the old love, you still have the old love to leave each other. If you feel that it is too regrettable to miss, and now you can stimulate the concentration of love, then you can make a choice. But we must think well and properly deal with each other's existing marriage ties first, and then do it. As long as it is fair and aboveboard, as long as it is true love, as long as it is reasonable and legal, what can't we do to fulfill our wishes and make up for our past shortcomings? However, we need to remind ourselves at all times, don't be blindly optimistic, don't be impulsive, and don't be too idealistic. Before making specific choices, we should fully consider the actual situation of each other. If everything is within our own range of acceptance, then muster up the courage to pursue our own happiness!