After being betrayed by my ex husband and divorced, I was repeatedly hurt by my male boss

I should be considered a very unhappy woman in my marriage. I now feel very frustrated, very remorseful, and sometimes very complaining. I really want to retaliate against him and punish him! The problem is that I want to keep and give up! It's really hard to give up, and food is tasteless! So I want to hear from you to help me analyze!

Before I met my current husband, I had a marriage. My ex-husband had been in love until later, and there had been a lot of gossip. With a little money, he was even more conspicuous. "And I had a child with a woman outside. After years of struggle, I divorced when his unmarried child was born, and we had two daughters.". After my divorce, I firmly believed that I would have a love of my own, and I worked hard and firmly to start a business. After more than a year, I met my current husband, who was my former boss, handsome, eloquent and humorous. "He said he had feelings for me before, it was love at first sight, and he said how bad he was with his current wife, six roots quiet.". It was 2008, and not everyone around me wanted to chase me, but I didn't feel it. I was also afraid of people coming for money, but I trusted him very much. We were all colleagues seven or eight years ago, and I trusted him! I thought how could this happen when I was so young, so later we were together! "Then I asked him, 'I can't be his lover, let's split up!'"! He said he loved me and was responsible for me. I said the responsibility is your family, not me! He said that he cannot sacrifice his happiness because of a child. He loves my people, character, and ability! In this way, he walked out of the house and got divorced.

For five years, I have tried my best and had a daughter with him! I am completely unguarded, so trust him! In the past two years, I gave up my business and gave it to him completely. He also found a capable person to cooperate with. He has been sweet talking and quite dependent on me! But one day, he found that others were better and could help him in his career. In September of this year, he began to hang out with a little girl from the 90s. By November, he was so crazy that he went out in front of me, didn't go home at night, and turned off the phone! He came home and wanted to quarrel with me, and he was so angry! And he said to me, "I'm not suitable for him and I'm breaking up.". Coax me into saying that half of the money the company has made is mine, no matter what we do, they will appreciate me in the future! "Because we didn't have a marriage certificate, he never wanted to have one!"! "I have brought my daughter over in recent months, and I know that I have not been able to extend my help to him in his career for the time being. His pressure is indeed very high, because I have not provided a bill for the cooperative business for a year, so I have not tried my best to help him with funding!"! He complains about me very much, and at the same time, he used to complain every day. These days, he no longer complains about me, and I don't like to hear him complain like a bitter wife every day!

Then on the evening of November 17th, he asked me again to say, "Wife, I'll write a guarantee for you, and you'll let me handle the problem, otherwise something will happen. I'll be back in a moment.". "I just watched him go on a date with that girl and haven't come back for another two nights, so I hurt myself again.". Before that, when he went out, I had already painstakingly said to forgive him and ask him to cut it off. This time, I went out openly. Thinking of his behavior like this, my self-esteem was hurt! So on the third day, I went to his company and signed a breakup agreement with him. My brother coordinated and said that if you had any misunderstanding, explain it clearly and not regret for a lifetime. Let him make a decision. He said, let's break up! In this way, we signed a breakup agreement! It's just that he hasn't recovered my money yet, and I've taken back the business that originally belonged to me!

"I bought two cars at home with my money, but I didn't give him one. I don't want to give him the things I bought with my money to make other girls happy!"! "I don't know why, but he started begging me again, saying he loves me the most and wants me to give him a year. He wants to work now, and if he has money in the future, he will come to me, and if he doesn't, he will disappear.". I said, "I don't want to hurt you, please don't hurt me either!"! But after begging a few times, one night, after one o'clock, he returned to the door and called me, and I let him back! My heart is soft again! But the next night, I met him downstairs in the company. I was just looking for reasons to see him, but I still missed him and loved him. He didn't detain me at all, and there were text messages and phone calls that meant he was about to leave. I knew it was that girl again, and I was disappointed and sad again!

"I made trouble out of nothing and told him to cut it off and call me in front of me, otherwise I would damage their reputation or something. I sent the text message he sent me to the girl, which made him angry. He said I couldn't afford it and resolutely separated from me!"! Delete all the messages he sent on my phone!

This is the way things are. I'm sorry to have reached this point, and I haven't gone any further. I'm tired and hurt! On the one hand, I blame myself for forgetting my vigilance! On the one hand, when dealing with this matter, I don't even know what answer I want or should choose! Could you please help me analyze what should be done? Thank you.

[Reply]

I wonder why you lack insight into men so much since you have a business acumen. If the failure of the first marriage is due to a lack of life experience, then what should be the explanation for this second almost absurd emotional experience?

The biggest weakness of a woman may be that she cannot resist the sweet words of a man and the deceit of a man. It can be said that your second relationship is disgraceful, because this man, your former boss, as you said, came together with someone else when they had a family, first played the role of an extramarital lover, and then prompted them to leave the house to divorce you. In fact, it's not your fault. This man is also scheming and flirtatious enough.

There is no denying that you have been deceived by this man's feelings, repeatedly deceiving and hurting him. I think he has ulterior motives for you, and he likes you with ulterior motives. I wonder if you can see clearly. It's just that you're overwhelmed by what you think of as love, and it's hard to extricate yourself from the emotional compensation for the failure of your first marriage.

Moreover, it is important to remind you that you have made an obvious mistake now. Although you and this man have experienced repeated emotional entanglements and have given birth to a common child, but you have not yet obtained a marriage certificate, your relationship will not be recognized by the law. You believe that he is your husband and you are his wife, which is only nominal. Who would recognize it? So even if this man is fooling around with other women outside, what right do you have to interfere with them! "It's just hurting the child you gave birth to in a muddled way. Now and in the future, in what capacity do you want her to have a foothold in this society, won't she become your illegitimate daughter?"? How did you manage her account?

Therefore, for now, there is no legal marital relationship between you. If you want to break up, you can leave at any time without any restrictions. If you still like him, yearn for him, and find it difficult to give him up, it is recommended that you go and fill in a legal procedure with him! "I think this man's character is just like this. If you are willing to be bullied by him, then no one else can help you.". I just want to advise you that no matter when it comes to it, you should do your mother's duty to the girl you gave birth to, give her a good education, give her a good influence, and don't let her follow your footsteps in the future and bear a fate like yours.